My Imaginary Boyfriend

My Imaginary Boyfriend *Arrangement

Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to have a boyfriend. Is it a necessity of life? I've read a lot of books and they indicate that when you love someone, you change not because of your partner, but because you grow into a full person by being with them. Finally finding your other half, perfect match, love of your life, soul mate, or whatever else you call it. It still is the same.

I like reading romantic novels so I end up falling in love with fictional characters. Sometimes, I wonder if I will ever fall in love with a real human being. Not just a character from a book. They say that falling in love with a character and falling in love with a real person is not the same.

Of course not.

In books, you feel what the characters feel, but they're not your own. In real life, it's yours. You are the only one who can feel your emotions.

There comes a time when a horrible thought haunts me. What if I was born to be alone in this world? My parents didn't even love me, considering I am their child. They left me in an orphanage where strangers took care of me. How can other people love me when my own family didn't?

"Annalise?"

Blinking my eyes, I look beside me to see Caleb staring at me curiously.

"What?" I ask.

"I often see you . . . staring off into space," he says hesitantly.

"How come you've noticed?"

Yesterday was just the first time we saw each other. I'm quite surprised he's paying attention to me.

"I'm a good observer."

I smile sheepishly. Yesterday's History class floods my mind. Remembering my idea to ask Caleb about Alex, I ask him, "Is Alex your brother?"

He looks taken aback with my question, with my sudden change of topic. "Yes," he says deliberately. "Why?"

Should I say it? There's no harm in telling the truth. "You just don't look alike."

Caleb is about to answer when Mr. Benitez calls him for a question he didn't hear.

Thankfully, Mathilde, the girl in front of him, whispers the answer.

Mr. Benitez looks pointedly at us, even if Caleb already told him the answer. I wonder if professors have powers in knowing who's not listening in the discussion?

A groan escapes from my lips as I realize that because of Mr. Benitez, our small talk is now over. I can't help but feel so disappointed.

When the class ends, I walk outside the door.

"What's your next class?" Someone asks me, making me yelp in surprise.

I turn around to see Caleb smiling at me. "Music," I answer. "You?"

"Physics," he says.

I don't know what else to say. "Um, see you in History?"

"See you," he says.

I feel so giddy with my first encounter with Caleb. I want to ask him a lot of questions about Alex, but I have to be careful. He might think I'm up to something.

While walking to the Music Room, I see a nerd girl and a cute boy. I can't believe it. Not that I don't want to, but it's hard to imagine. That's funny, coming from someone who easily imagines a guy in her head. I thought they are just close friends; best friends to be précised. And then, I see their fingers intertwined. Suddenly, the guy kisses the hand of the girl he's holding. It's so private I have to look away. Of course, not from jealousy; I don't like the guy. How can I? I don't even know him. Just by looking at their eyes, I know that they love each other.

When will it be me? The thought haunts my mind again. Sometimes thinking about Daniel makes me sad because he's just my imagination. I just made him in mind. He's just alive in my own little world. I feel empty. I want to imagine him now.

When I enter the Music Room, Alex is already there, sitting in his chair beside Maegan. She's not here yet, I bet she's in the comfort room.

Instead of going to the classroom after the bell rings, they go to the comfort room to retouch their makeup. I don't understand them. What will happen if they don't wear makeups? As if after one hour, their make up already dissolved. My classmates save money to buy cosmetic products, while I, on the other hand, save what little money I have to buy books. For some girls, diamonds are their favorite thing. Nothing can compare to a book.

The clicking of Mrs. Dorothea's stilettos makes me stop from my line of thoughts.

"Because it's a new school year," she starts, "I want to arrange you according to your first names for the seat plan."

Groans and mutters fill the room. No one wants to be separated from the familiarity of their friends. Kamille looks at me sadly. I don't know anyone else here aside from her. I guess I have to be alone for a while. Not that it's a hard thing, when most of the time, I'm alone.

All of us stands up and goes at the back of the room as Mrs. Dorothea checks her seat plan.

She said first names first, so I'm going to sit in the front. I heave a sigh. I never liked seating in front of the class. Not because I'm not interested in the lesson but I don't like the feeling of someone sitting behind me.

"Annalise?"

Someone nudges me.

"Is Annalise absent?"

"I'm here," I say, startled.

"Go sit beside Alex," Mrs. Dorothea orders.

I walk toward the front of the room, not believing what I heard. On the first chair, Alex is seated. I occupy the seat next to him. He doesn't even look up when I sit beside him. The only thought I can form is that we're going to share the same table for the rest of the year. I bite my lip to stop myself from smiling.

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I hope you liked this chapter <3

The song is called Be My Escape by Relient K.

Thank you for reading! :)