I'll love you, until the end.

Four: My First

I woke up to the sun blinding me through the glass pane window next to my bed. I blinked a few times, clearing the fog from my brain before I rolled over in my bed. Suddenly memories came flooding in from last night. Draco came to my room and- he-. My fingers jumped to my lips, tracing the spots that he kissed me. They trailed down my neck and to my chest, it's like I could still feel him. His hands gently grabbing my hips, my legs, my face as he-
"Good morning sunshine." Pansy smiled as she got dressed.
I blinked at her a few times, was she here last night? I don't remember anyone walking in. Did Draco sleep here? My brain was so foggy and my head was pounding.
"Hungover?" She asked softly.
That must be it. I was drunk. Everything from last night is a haze. The only thing I am certain of was,
Draco was my first.
My lip quivered and my fingers began to shake. I wasn't planning on saving myself for marriage but I definitely wasn't planning on Draco, a boy I barely knew, being my first.
"Clov?" Pansy sat at the foot of my bed, her voice full of concern.
"Oh sorry- yeah, my head hurts pretty bad." I faked a smile and placed my hand on my forehead.
"That just means you had fun!" Pansy smiled.
I stretched my arms above my head and slowly began to climb out of bed. I walked to my dresser and began getting dressed when there was a light knock at our door. Pansy and I looked at each other and both shrugged. Since Pansy was already dressed she answered it.
"Hello love. I'm looking for Clover." Lorenzo spoke on the other side of the door.
"She's just waking up. Give us a second." Pansy said.
She softly shut the door and leaned against it, staring at me.
"Seems someone made a friend last night." She laughed.
"What does he want?" I asked, nervously.
"Only way to know is to go talk to him."
I quickly finished getting dressed and headed out to the common room. Lorenzo was the only one there.
"Hey you." He smiled, hugging me.
"Good morning!" I tried to sound chipper. "Is everything ok?"
"Oh yeah everything is fine. I was just about to go get some breakfast and wondered if you wanted to join me?" He asked.
I bit my lip and began twiddling my thumbs to calm my nerves.
"Oh-"
"You don't have to! I just figured since you're new you could use another friend!" He cut me off.
"Sure." I softly smiled.
His face beamed with delight and he held out his arm for me to take. I wrapped my arm in his and we began walking down the halls and stairwells towards the great hall. Once we were there he led me to the end of the Slytherin table. Only a few students were here so it was quiet and peaceful. We sat down and he began handing me all sorts of food.
"I'm not sure what you like but there's a lot of options here." He offered me a bowl of fruit.
I politely took it and placed a few grapes and apple slices on my plate. I reached over to grab a roll at the same time he did and our hands met in the middle. We locked eyes and my heart dropped. I quickly pulled away and cleared my throat.
"So, are you excited to start your new classes after break?" He asked.
"Uh, yeah I guess. Who is really that excited for school though?"
He let out a laugh that was so loud it made me laugh as well, easing my nerves and I felt my shoulders relax. We began chatting and laughing about all kinds of things.
"You write poetry?" I gawked.
"Don't make me sound so illiterate" he scoffed. "But yes I do!"
"Can I read some?" I asked.
"Oh no! No! No one has read my work besides Draco." He said.
"Oh so why is Draco so special?" I teased.
"He's my best friend. We were practically born holding hands. He's like my brother." Lorenzo explained.
"You two seem very cozy." I heard Pansy snicker as she approached us.
"Hello love." Lorenzo smiled up at her.
"Hi Pansy! How are you?" I asked, kind of saddened that she interrupted Lorenzo and I.
"I'm wonderful! The Yule ball is coming up!" She cheered.
"Ah yes, the ball. I'm sure you two are going." Lorenzo sighed.
"Absolutely!" Pansy beamed.
"Actually I don't think I'm attending." I said slowly.
"What?!" Pansy gawked. "You have to!"
"I'm the new girl and besides I don't have a date."
"Who are you taking Lorenzo?" Pansy asked.
"No one. I'm going solo, but I'll be open to any girls who want a dance that also don't have a date." He said, coolly.
"Ugh. Boys." Pansy rolled her eyes. "Why don't you take Clov?"
Lorenzo and I locked eyes and my cheeks became hot.
"I'm open to it." He softly smiled.
"Oh, uh, let me think about it." I said as I watched his smile slowly fade. "Nothing against you! I just, like I said, I'm new and it feels a little weird."
He nodded and took another bite of his food. I wanted to go, but I didn't know where Draco and I stood right now. I know we just met and I know we were only fooling around but I still needed to know where we stood.
"Who are you going with Pansy?" I asked.
"Funny enough, Draco is taking me." She giggled.
My heart dropped to my stomach and a lump formed in my throat.
"D- Draco?" I asked, trying to seem uninterested. "Well hopefully he's not an ass to you."
"Nah I'll be fine. I can handle Draco." She smiled.
"Yeah, we know. You handled him real well every night last year." Lorenzo scoffed.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"We kind of dated last year, but we ended things. I'm not too sure why. Draco got busy with his family and he didn't have time for me I guess." She shrugged. "Alright, I'm off to look through my closet. If I don't have anything to wear, do you want to go dress shopping with me?"
"Oh. Uh- sure." I fumbled over my words, still thinking about Draco.
Why did I care so much?