I'll love you, until the end.

Nineteen:Draco POV

You're such a fucking idiot. Go get her!
No. This is for the best. She's safer away from me.
You love her and you crucio'd her you damn moron.
I had to. She wasn't going to leave if I didn't.

"Draco.. are you okay dear?" My mother asked as we sat at the table eating breakfast.
I passed a glance between her and my father as I realized I had zoned out again. I've been doing that a lot lately.
"Fucking fantastic." I hissed.
"Watch your tongue boy!" My father shouted.
I rolled my eyes and excused myself from the table, heading back to my room. I laid on my bed with my face in the pillow and let out a loud, frustrated scream. She had been gone a few days but it felt like forever without her. There was a knock at my door but I was too tired to get up and open it so I just stared at it hoping whoever it was would go away. The door slowly creaked open and I rolled my eyes, turning my head as my mother walked in. She glided across the floor and sat down at the edge of my bed.
"Draco, you haven't been yourself lately. You're not eating, you're not sleeping and all you do is lay in your bed." She stated.
"And?" I asked flatly.
"Why did you kick her out?" She asked softly.
"None of your business."
"Draco, I think you should go get her. You two really care for each other-"
"Merlin mother! I said it was none of your fucking business. She's gone. Get over it." I shouted at her, rolling over and closing my eyes.
"Draco. I am your mother-" she raised her voice.
"Oh that's hysterical , MOTHER." I spat.
I threw a nasty look at her but my breath caught as I watched a tear roll down her blank face. She nodded and silently stood up, walking back to the door. I realized I was treating her the same way my father did, when really my anger wasn't at her. Sure she stood behind that nasty excuse for a man but what else was she to do. She had a son to think about and if she left he would make sure we never received a penny or a helping hand from anyone. Shit he would probably kill us both.
"Wait." I spoke up.
She stopped and looked over her shoulder at me.
"I'm sorry." I said lowly. "I know you know it wasn't safe for her here. I had to make her leave. It's for the best."
"Is it tho? Is it what she wanted or what you wanted for her? I really think you should go get her. You need her." My mother spoke softly.
"I don't need her. What I need is for her to be alive and if she's here that's not possible. Someone would kill her eventually and I can't let that happen." I argued.
"Draco, she is a smart and strong girl. She can take care of herself, but right now all this is doing for the both of you is hurting you more. That pain in your chest? She has it too. You think you're helping her but really you're hurting her more." She explained.
"How- how do you know- what did you see mother?" I asked.
"I didn't see anything. I just know. When you are apart from someone you're bonded with-"
"Bonded, yeah I heard that the night I got my mark. What does that mean?" I interrupted her.
"It means that the universe brought you two together for a reason. Some wizards have gifts, you know mine, some are extremely powerful, some can see the future even but then there's ones like you and Clover. I didn't see it before but that night, when the dark lord said it, I realized it was true. Your connection is more than just puppy love or a crush. Your souls are connected and when you're together, you two are strong and very powerful but when you're apart like this, your souls call out for each other and when you deny yourself that, it weakens you. Some people are bonded with their enemies and some are bonded with their friends. You and clover just happen to be lucky enough to have bonded through love and now you're hurting her being by pushing her away, along with your own." She explained.
She walked over and kissed my cheek before leaving me to my thoughts. I laid back down, staring at the wall. Bonded. It doesn't matter, she would still be in more danger if she was here. I sat up when the realization hit me. Voldemort knows about this. If he knows we're apart and she's weak... fuck, fuck, fuck. What have I done! I have to find her, make sure she's okay. I'll go out tomorrow, to find her, just to be sure she's okay.