jj maybank fanfics

not bad weird

working on something longer so this is just a little one for now.

hope u enjoy :)

TW: angst, slight smut

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"It was just weird." JJ says, kicking his feet on the ground. "What happened between us on the boat. It was just weird."

"Yeah.." Kiara answers, looking down at her fiddling hands before taking a small and cautious step towards him. "But not bad weird."

JJ swallows, feeling the nerves in his stomach and chest growing more intense.

"No. Not bad weird." His words came out automatically, like there wasn't any other answer to those words.

It wasn't bad weird. But it sure as hell was absolutely terrifying and nerve wracking. But still not in a bad way, still not bad weird. Which was both the easiest and the hardest thing to realise. It all makes sense, every single feeling and every single moment they've shared now makes sense. It's a huge relief for both to finally understand and see things clearly, yet there's this underlying feeling of uncertainty and fear. It's something completely new for both of them, having big emotions and feelings that can't be ignored and can't be explained in a better way than that they're in love.

But that word.

Love.

It's terrifying. Despite it's positive effects and aspects, it's absolutely terrifying to love someone. Especially when they're your best friend.

They suddenly stand really close. Their eyes looking right at each other's faces. JJ tries to find a good spot to look but it's impossible, his eyes wanders all over Kiara's face. From her eyes, to her nose, to her eyebrows and finally to her lips.

His eyes stays there for a while, not daring to look away. Kiara simply just looks at his eyes. Observing his eyes and reactions. Even though Kiara might look more calm and reserved on the outside, it's like her walls of emotions would shatter at any second.

They're both nervous, not knowing what to do next. The air feels thick between them, like it's a field keeping them apart but still trying to get them closer. Their next move feeling so crucial, it could determine everything.

"What are we doing?" JJ asks almost whispering. "Nah we shouldn't be doing this." JJ says, answering himself.

"Do what?"

"Do this." JJ says, gesturing back and forth between them. "I mean it would all blow up anyway."

Kiara swallows hard, her stomach sinks at his words. She knows what he means. He thinks he'll fuck everything up, that he's the problem.

She wants to tell him how incredibly and deeply wrong he is but she can't. It's not the right time to start that kind of conversation and it's not the right solution to raise her voice.

"Yeah.. If you say so." Kiara says with a light and calm tone instead.

There is no rush, Kiara thinks. She would never get upset over JJ not being ready to express his feelings. She knows he's struggling, it's so clear and visual like he's a open book. But as said before, to be angry and raise your voice isn't the right solution.

"I mean what do I have?" JJ snaps, causing Kiara to look up at him. "This?!" He continues as he throws his hand up gesturing to his "home". "This piece of shit?!" His voice cracks as throws a can through the door on the porch. "I got no money, nowhere to live and hell I- I don't even got parents right now."

"JJ.." Kiara says in a weak attempt to calm him down.

"No Kie you don't get it! I- I'm not enou- You have this bright future ahead of you and I can't be the one who's in the way of that." JJ pushes the words out, forcing himself to say them.