Chapter 14

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Tears start to fall down my face. I feel like I can't breathe. I quickly crawl backwards away from the body. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it's gonna pop out of my chest. I can't handle this. I try to take deep breaths but the more I do the more I choke up.

I pull out my phone and dial Lalo's number. "Hey, I just got back. Where are you?" His voice is light and happy.

"I um-" I practically have to force the words to come out. "I need you." I finally say in between sobs.

"What's wrong? Where are you?" He asks.

I can't breathe. "I did something. Really bad." My tears start to burn my cheeks.

"Hey it's alright. I'll be right there. Just tell me where you are."

I give him directions and hang up. I sit against the building wall staring at the body. The tears stop falling and my body stops shaking.

I think it's happening again. When things get to be too much I shut down so I can't feel it. It happened when my dad died. I didn't allow myself to feel for the first couple weeks. When I finally did, I broke down and ran away. I guess when you hold back your emotions for so long you turn into a ticking time bomb. It's just a matter of time before I explode.

I hear a speeding car hit their brakes and a car door slam. Footsteps come running at me, but I can't seem to pull my gaze away from the man lying on the ground. Lalo's beside me checking me over to see if I'm hurt. He has to physically pull my face away from the body to look at him.

"Are you Alright mi Amor?" He asks with the same look as last time in his eyes. Fear. I can't bring myself to speak. No matter how much I want to say something, I can't. So instead I just nod. He pulls me into his chest and holds me against him.

I hear another pair of footsteps coming up behind Lalo. I pull my gun. It's just nacho. He quickly puts his hands up. "Woah." He takes a step back.

Lalo's hands move to mine and he takes the gun from me. "It's ok." He assures me. He hands it to nacho and stands me up. He walks me to his car but my eyes go back to the body. I sit there staring at it while Lalo talks to nacho. They're probably discussing how they're gonna clean up my mess.

Lalo gets back into the car and we drive off. I stare out my window while he stares at me. "What happened?" He asks.

I wish someone else was there so they could explain it instead of me. I'm worried whatever I say is gonna come off wrong and emotionless. He puts his hand on my thigh and snaps me out of it. I take a deep breath and try again. "I ran out of gas. I was walking to the gas station when he pulled a gun on me. He tried to rob me so I did what you told me. It actually worked." I chuckled. God he probably thinks I'm a psychopath. I put a serious face back on. "Then he charged at me. So I shot him."

I look up to gauge his reaction. It's not disgusted or disappointed or even sad. He gives me a small smile. "I'm proud of you." He says.

"What?" I stare at him confused.

"You protected yourself." He states.

"So you're not mad that I just killed someone?"

"No, I'm not mad." He chuckles. "Sure, I'm a little sad to see you don't need me to protect you anymore. But I'm not mad."

I stare at him in disbelief. "Ok." Is all I can think to say. How is he so calm about this? Maybe the same way I am right now. I turn my attention back to the window. I can feel him glancing over at me every so often.

We finally made it back to his place. He walks over to my side and holds out his hand for me to take. I grab it and we walk inside. I sit on the bathroom counter while he cleans the blood splatter off me. He pulls a bandaid out of the medicine cabinet and puts it on my knee. I must've scraped it. "Have you eaten?" He asks.

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