Daydream » VKook

[4] White Walls

"Jungkook. You need to eat something."

I constantly kept pushing that disgusting hospital food away from me. It was bland and unsatisfying. I didn't know why they resorted me to this kind of food. Besides, the more I stared at it, the less lively it looked. And I really meant less lively. The food looked sad with no colors, so why would I even want to eat it? It didn't even smell that appealing.

"No. I don't want to eat that."

"But you need your strength."

"I'll gain my strength elsewhere. Now leave."

The nurse left with an agitated look. I just wanted to be left alone. All I wanted to do was to stare at blank walls and the ceiling. That I knew that those structures had the same color. It was always white, to begin with. Unlike some people that found white walls in hospitals intimidating and mundane, I found them to be quite calming. It was the only thing I could accept while everything else around me seemed lifeless. Even though the TV was playing at the top corner of the room across from me, I didn't care to watch it.

I had a room to myself. It was nicely sized for a typical hospital room. I never liked sharing a room with someone else, but for the past few days, it had been lonely. The only people I saw daily were the two nurses that were assigned to my care. They usually attempted to make small talk with me to make me feel more acclimated. Sure, I conversed with them a bit, but I still wasn't happy. I was still angry at myself; mostly at how I let this happened to myself.

The door opened again, thinking that the nurse came back to see if I'd eaten my meal yet. When my eyes turned to the corner, I jerked up from the bed to see my mother with a vase of flowers.

"Good afternoon, Jungkook-ah." She sweetly greeted. "How are you today?"

She always asked me the same question and I replied with the same answer

"The same."

"Oh." She lowly acknowledged. "I hope you've been eating well."

"I eat enough."

"You should definitely eat more. You've been looking very pale since you were admitted to the hospital."

Like it mattered. Whenever I looked at my skin, all I could see is a bland white with some grayish undertones. I wouldn't even notice the difference. I glanced back at that white wall, but then my mother presented me with that vase of flowers.

"This is for you, Jungkook." She had a small cheerful tone to her voice.

I blankly looked at it. "What for?"

"To cheer you up, sweetie."

I looked coldly at my mother. I could feel the ache that was growing inside of me again.

"Umma, don't waste your money like that." I firmly rejected it.

"Why not?" She questioned as if she didn't know the true reason. "They look pretty. It'll brighten up the room."

The more colorful words she used, the angrier I became. Her smile grew as she looked at the flowers and complimented on how beautiful they were in full bloom. That happy, cheerful tone echoed louder and louder, but it made me feel more uncomfortable by the second. Every time I looked at those flowers and tried to understand what she was conveying, I just couldn't. I couldn't picture it in my head. I just wanted her to stop speaking.

"And it's springtime. We should take in the full bloom of new, beautiful flowers-"

"Shut up!"

I knocked the vase out of my mother's hands and it went crashing down sharply like glass. The petals fell out of its buds and water was spilled all over the floor. That was how I felt. My life was taken away from me and everything was broken. There was nothing left for me.