Daydream » VKook

5. Survive

My body was completely sore the next day. I missed school and laid in bed throughout that entire morning. My mother was surprised that I didn't get up for school and almost reprimanded me for not going. But I was stretched out on my bed, looking lifeless and not wanting to move a muscle. I couldn't tell her why I was sore, so I just told her that I was sick. She did eye at me with a perplexed expression, thinking that I might be lying. In all honesty, it did feel like I was sick. I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I just wanted this day to rest.

I stared out at the window for most of the time. Whenever daylight blinded my sight, I squinted my eyes and raised the covers to the brim of my lashes. I hated that brief moment that my vision was glared with sharp light. Once the clouds blocked the intense rays, my eyes came out of hiding and somehow, a clearer mind. Despite of the pain my body was feeling, my mind and heart wanted to continue Kendo training.

In fact, my mind was racing. It felt like my mind could follow along the quick, swift techniques of Kendo. Yet, it didn't seem like my body could catch up with these running thoughts. I had to make my body stronger and faster. It was the only way that my mind could be fully satisfied. Perhaps it was the kind of inspiration I needed to get out of bed.

I looked at the clocked and it was only noon. Umma wasn't home since she was usually working at the restaurant at this time. And the kids would still be in school until the next two hours. The longer I thought about it, the more I wanted to train. So I stripped the covers off of me and quickly rummaged through my drawers to find a simple T-Shirt and sweat pants. I threw on a large hoodie and tied on my sneakers. In just ten minutes, I was out of the door and all ready to go.

My body was still sore, so I began a slow-paced jog around the neighborhood. I pulled my hood up, in hopes that no one recognized me for skipping school. Instead, I focused on my breathing and forced my body to push through the pain. I kept in mind of what my father said yesterday—that pain was only in my mind.

God... it was hard to focus. It felt like my muscles were screaming at me to stop moving. My breathing was normal, but slowed down to give my body a bit of a break. I stopped in a nearby alley away from the street, and laid my hand on the wall for support. To be honest, I wanted to drop my entire body to the ground, but my hand gripped hard onto the brick. The skin of my palm scraped against the stone grains as I tried to hold myself up. But then I looked back at my hand and saw the red abrasions.

I couldn't help it. My knees buckled under myself as I slumped to the ground. It seemed like I was about ready to give up. As I breathed heavily and stared up to the only light shining above me, I imagined being up there.

No, I didn't mean I wanted to die and go to heaven. I wanted to fly and sore across the vast skies. I wanted to be free and feel free. Right now, I felt trapped in my own body. My mind and imagination were far more stronger than my body.

Pain is only in your mind.

I still didn't understand it. My mind wasn't feeling the pain, but my entire body was. I started to think that my father was crazy. There was no way for me to not have my body feeling sore and tired. At this point, I didn't care. I just wanted to sit here and rest, while watching the clouds roll by in the clear blue sky.

I always found clear blue skies quite therapeutic. Seeing that bright, but calming blue color lifted my spirits up. It was a newfound energy I gained and it soothed the aches in my body. As I closed my eyes, I took in a deep breath and for some reason, my nose picked up the scent of pine leaves. The fresh scent tickled my nose a bit, feeling like I was going to sneeze. But the more I breathed in, the greater the aroma of pine leaves intrigued my senses.

Then the sounds of singing birds rang in my ears. I was surprised to hear their joyful tunes filling the space around me. I slowly opened my eyes to a completely different sight before me. Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting in an alley, facing nothing but brick walls. Instead, vibrant colors swarmed at me as I felt completely engulfed by this luscious paradise that was forming. Trees were full of different colored hues of red, yellow and orange like the maples leaves during the fall. The grass smelled like it was freshly cut and I felt more of it grow right under me. I allowed my fingers to brush against the grain of the grass, feeling the sharpness of the blades. There was one blade of grass that was a bit too sharp, and I immediately felt the sting in my thumb. But funny enough, I didn't see a cut on my finger and that stinging pain disappeared.