Hard to Come By

Chapter 13

"I hadn't either," he says, "not until I was with you."

You feel like your soul is being ripped from your body, but in a strangely good way. Your heart squeezes with anticipation, "excuse me?"

"I felt it Y/N," he admits, "and it terrified me." You shake your head quickly from the emotional whiplash, "you felt it?!?" You say rather loudly.

"And you said nothing!?!" You don't know what to say right now. You want to be happy that he felt what you did but you want to be mad because he waited this long to tell you.

"There's not many positives to being involved with someone like me," he tries to explain. You look at him like he's crazy, "seriously? Severus, I don't care. Everyone has skeletons in their closet."

"That's besides the point," he brushes off your comment and continues. "I wanted to make an offer," his voice low.

"Oh so this is a business deal," you roll your eyes. "Well we are colleagues," he says slyly and a grin tugs at his lips and you can't help but smile back, "fine. What is it?"

"We can continue our ministrations," he starts, "but being that I am who I am, nothing serious can come from this."

Being who he is? You are confused by what he means by that. A teacher?

"And we tell no one," he states finally.

"Really," you ask him, cocking an eyebrow. He nods, "yes really. It's highly unprofessional. We're not just colleagues, I'm your mentor."

You sit and think for a minute, weighing the pros and cons. Here you have Severus Snape having an open conversation for once, but whatever comes of this it cannot move further than physical. It already has for you, seeming that you have a slight infatuation with him. But maybe that's all you feel is extreme sexual chemistry and infatuation. If you agree maybe you can finally get the mystery of him out your system and move on.

You can be an adult, there's plenty who have casual sex and are able to break it off whenever.

"Fine," you say, "but I have rules too." He looks slightly dejected but then nods to you to present your stipulations.

"I will not be disrespected just for the fact of covering whatever this is up," you state, "I'm better than that. Secondly, if anyone asks I will get to consider you my friend and we'll act as such."

He shakes his head slightly, "don't you think us being overly friendly will put us at risk?" You huff, "I'll say this," you lower your voice and grab his hand, looking at him intently, "I don't want this arrangement to be with Professor Snape. I want it with Severus Snape. And before you say it's the same person, it's not. What I have right now, who I'm talking to on this couch, is Severus." 

He nods his head slowly in thought and let's his thumb trail over the back of your hand, "I see. I think that will be doable."

"Great," you chirp out, leaning back to your original, lounged position and continue to eat your pasta, flashing him a grin.

You both finish eating in a, now comfortable, silence and it's quite pleasant. The walls that you had seen around Severus when he came in are no longer held up.

When you're finished you bring the plates to your kitchen and place them in the sink. As you're turning the water off you feel his strong arms slink around your waist from behind. He leans down and starts peppering light kisses on your neck. You hum in satisfaction.

"So this is effective immediately," you ask him in a quiet, sly tone, just to tease. "Most certainly," he whispers against your ear and spins you around to face him.