Attention

Chapter 9: Alex

The next morning when I walked inside school to grab an early breakfast, I saw Alex leaning on a wall, with his earphones on. He looked in his own world and out of sorts. Like he was in a bad mood. I go straight for him, forgetting all about my food.

"Hey why do you look so sad?" I asked when he took his earphone out. Throughout the time I've gotten to know Alex, I grew accustomed to his mood swings. He was really quiet one day and then happy and outgoing the next. It depended on the day. Usually when he was in a mood, he'd ditch classes and go smoke somewhere with his friends.

He shook his head. "It's nothing. Hey, you wanna ditch today?" He asked with pleading eyes. This was one of his bad days.

"Sure, let's do it." I answer with no hesitation. I couldn't say no to him.

After grabbing a few breakfast sandwiches to go, we left for the view that Kimmy and I were hanging out at that one time. It was a place we'd go to talk about anything with no judgments and now it's a place for Alex and I. With school in session, we had the place to ourselves, and I was secretly loving our alone time.

We sat on the table closest to the ledge and watched the view in silence. Whatever was going on in his head must have been weighing on him heavily. I didn't know how to comfort him. Alex and I flirted all the time so this would be my first time getting to know the real guy.

"Are you okay?" I finally say after a very long 5 minutes of silence.

He stares off for a while, not answering. Whatever he was thinking about caused him to be short of words. "My mom visited me yesterday; she's been in and out of jail and can't get custody of me. She told me yesterday she's moving to Colorado." I listen to him go on. "I was always hoping she'd get her shit together so she can get me out of the group home but she's officially giving up. CPS won't give me to her if she has no job and no home."

"I'm sure she tried her hardest."

"Has she though? I've been in foster care my whole life because she can't get it together. But I've always waited because she's my mom. I wish she wasn't giving up." Alex really was going through a lot like Kimmy had told me a while ago. I had no idea what foster care was like or how it was affecting him. How can a child live like that? Without parents. Even though I had my issues with my mom, I'd hate to be living somewhere without her.

"What's foster care like?" I ask.

He sighs and looks down. "It's a lot of moving around and never knowing if people really care about you or if you're just a check to them." That sounded awful. I couldn't imagine having people around me that I couldn't trust. "It's being with people you don't know and calling them family." He continued. But if you're always moving around, are they really your family or just people you meet on the way?

"I didn't know you were going through this much."

"I don't like to bring down the group with my sad life. No one likes a burden." He was really opening up to me.

"I don't think it's a burden. I think I like you more now knowing you're not like everyone else." I say looking at him while he stares at the floor.

"What about you Millie? What's your life?" He asked, looking to his right to meet my eyes. I felt uncomfortable sharing myself with him, what if he found me too damaged and unworthy?

"I felt like a burden to my mom. She can be a lot." I don't think I'm ready to open up just yet, I don't want to scare him off. Talking about my mom was a huge wall of mine.

He chuckles. "Yeah, your mom's kind of scary, not going to lie. She kept giving me dirty looks."

"Probably because you remind her of my dad. She doesn't want me near any boys."