Attention

Chapter 14: Breakups

A whole week. It had been a whole week of Alex ignoring me and staying away. He didn't hang out with us during lunch or after school and he never came by when we hung out at Cam's house. He was ghosting me and it was driving me crazy.

I didn't think he was serious when he said he needed time away from me but he was. All week he avoided me like the plague. When we would see each other, he would turn the other way.

Tuesday at lunch I was sulking on the table completely distraught. Kimmy was rubbing my back and Cam was sitting in front of me trying to make me laugh. He grabbed two straws and put them in his mouth to look like a walrus.

"Aww come on, this is funny!" He whined when I didn't laugh. Kim moves the hair out of my face.

"He'll come back Millie, he's just processing everything. Alex is a deep thinker." She was right. Alex was always quiet and deep in thought about stuff, and he called me closed off, the irony.

"It's been a week. Should I just try again?" I asked, looking at them both.

"Yes," Kimmy says.

"No," Cam says at the same time. They both exchange weird glances.

"Why would she give him more time? It's been a week and she should try again." Kim tells him.

"He said he wants to be alone and he said that Millie should figure out what she wants. Which she hasn't. Therefore she should leave it alone." Was he right? Should I just leave him alone? I bite my lip to think. Alex did say to give him time and I did just that but maybe I could try to see if he feels different.

"That's stupid. Millie go talk to him."

Cam shakes his head. "No, let him come to you." Why was he so persistent on this?

I look behind me to Alex's friend group, the stoners. He's quiet and looking off somewhere, then he turns his head and we lock eyes. Just like we've done a million times. I'm going to go talk to him.

Getting up immediately and marching over, I stand right in front of him in an instant.

"Can we please talk?" I ask with pleading eyes. Alex is surprised by my forcefulness because I practically ran over here.

"Sure." He follows down a hallway where hardly anyone walked by. When we get in front of each other, it's awkward and quiet. He doesn't want to make eye contact with me and his hands are stuffed in his pockets. I feel terrible.

"Alex, I miss you, please talk to me." I miss his voice.

His face is lowered now so he doesn't look me in the eye. "I told you I needed space."

"It's been a week isn't that enough?"

Alex picks up his head and looks into my eyes. "No, it's not enough. I'm crazy about you Millie. And I can't be just friends anymore. At least not right now okay?" He couldn't just be friends with me anymore? This sucked. I had to now go on without him.

"But when?" I plead. I just want us to go back to normal.

Alex knits his eyebrows together. "When you make a decision." Crap. I hadn't told him my decision yet but I was hoping he'd forget it and move on. He wants us to have the talk. The lay everything out in the open talk, the way I treated him, my past if I trusted him, and if I wanted to have a relationship.

"Can't we just be us again?"

He looks away again and sighs. "I need time and clearly so do you."

"I understand. But I do miss my friend. We all miss you, it's not the same."