Silver and Green with Envy: A Sebastian Sallow Story

Chapter Forty-One

I won't lie, I felt sick almost every day leading up to the first day of break. I forced myself to eat, to sleep, to smile, to just act like everything was fine. Inside I was an absolute wreck. I knew Sebastian could tell something was wrong, and truthfully I was pretty positive he knew why. Mostly because he never brought it up, and I know he would have otherwise. 

The majority of the school cleared out Saturday morning after breakfast, off to the train to head home. There was a smattering of extra people still on the grounds compared to Christmas, but not too many more. 

I kissed Sebastian's cheek after finishing with my tea, and then went to my Room of Requirement to make some sort of attempt at preparing myself. I'd had potions brewing that were ready, my dueling outfit had been mended and cleaned, thanks to Aesop and Poppy, and I...realized in that moment that I was actually terrified.

That wasn't going to stop me, though. But for the second time in just as many months, I found myself hoping that Sebastian would be able to forgive me. 

Because I was not expecting any of this to go well, and I was really starting to wish I had opened that letter alone, to spare Natty and Poppy the possible same fate I might be facing.

Too late now.

The clock in the room chimed for noon and the sound of it made me nearly jump out of my skin. I finished up quickly with what I was doing and hurried to throw on my outfit, making sure that my necklace was tucked into my collar and resting against my skin. It comforted me a little. I braided my hair up as the knob of the door turned, and I headed over to it, expecting Natty and Poppy.

Sebastian walked in and looked at me. It was one of the only times in recent memory of this year that I couldn't read his face.

We held each others gazes for what seemed like forever before he walked up to me, sliding an arm around my waist, the other at the back of my head as he pulled me to him, his lips crushed against mine. 

For as fiercely as he kissed me, it was tender, and caring.

It...felt like a goodbye.

In a rush, and without letting me see his face, he turned and left the room without a single word to me. I felt wetness on my cheeks and reached up, wiping away tears...that weren't mine.

Natty and Poppy walked in as he left, confusion on their faces, but I raced out of the room past them, turning the corner to shout after Sebastian, but he had already vanished down the hall.

Poppy came up behind me and gently took my hand. She looked like she felt bad for me, but didn't say anything about it.

I kept quiet and just helped the two of them into their outfits, tying their bodices and straightening collars. Eventually though, I couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Last chance to back out, ladies. I won't be upset if you don't want to do this. Really. I'd honestly rather you not."

Natty huffed a little bit. "And I'd rather you not bring up us leaving you to do this by yourself again, Elena. We're in this together no matter what."

Poppy looked at me with her wide brown eyes. "...Was Sebastian here to tell you not to go? Xander and I were about ready to come to blows about it before Natty stepped in."

I shook my head. "He...didn't say anything at all, actually. I'm sorry you and Xander were fighting about it, though. I'm sure he's scared. This could go about as well as that dragon did, you know."

"We pulled you out of that one and we'll do it again if we have to. Alright. Everyone have their potions? Wands? Wits? Good, let's go."

~~~