An American at Hogwarts

Bad Memories

On the morning we were to leave for break I woke up a bit later than usual, which annoyed me a bit. To be fair, it was entirely my fault. I had stayed up late the night before reading into the shielding charm. I had made some slight progress with it over the past two weeks, but nothing nearly as dramatic as that day out in the snow. I still wouldn't quite trust it in a proper duel, but I was ever so slowly figuring it out. I packed a small trunk with my present for Marie and some smaller things I had gotten for her parents, and dragged it down to the common room, finding that my friends were already there.

Ron snickered as he saw me struggle out with the trunk. "Morning there sleepyhead."

I gave him a slight chuckle and a joking glare. He was surprisingly charming when he wasn't being exceptionally obnoxious. Marie came running up to me as I brought my stuff down.

"You ready? Me and Hermione were thinking we ought to leave a bit early so we can get a good cabin in the train."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready if you two are."

I glanced at Harry and Ron. "I'll have Cinnabar bring your gifts here on Christmas Eve. I don't trust either of you not to open them early."

Ron frowned and gave a mocking sigh. "What? Now why would you ever say that!"

"Because I know you two."

Harry chuckled. "He's got a point Ron. Anyways, you three'd best be off! Happy Christmas!"

I smiled and gave the two of them a hug, wishing them a merry Christmas as me, Hermione, and Marie left the common room and headed to meet Hagrid, who was helping us with our luggage. As we got down to the carriages that would take us to Hogsmeade Station, my eyes went wide.

"What are those things? The horses pulling the carriages?"

Hermione and Marie shared a confused look. Marie gave me a glance of concern. "There... there aren't any horses with the carriages Y/N. I'm pretty sure they're just pulled by magic. You alright?"

I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but sure enough, they were still there. Hagrid gave me a sympathetic look. "Those there are thestrals. Most folks can't see them, you only can if you've seen death."

My heart dropped a bit. Marie put a hand on my shoulder. "You okay, Y/N?"

I nodded. "Y... yeah. Just some bad memories. I... I had a sister. She... she died a couple years ago."

That wasn't entirely truthful, but it wasn't a lie either.

Marie looked as if she was about to cry, and pulled me into a hug. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you. Promise."

Hermione nodded. "As am I."

I gave the two of them a weak smile, trying to shake myself out of the slight daze I had fallen into. "Thanks guys. Just don't much like thinking about what happened to her. I'll tell you guys one day, just not now. I don't think I'm quite ready for it yet."

Marie gave me a nod that told me she understood, as did Hermione. Finally, I shook myself out of it. "Well, enough of that, this is supposed to be a happy day!"

They shared a glance of concern, but I forced the two of them into a cabin and started talking about my progress with the shielding charm, trying to convince them that I was okay. I wasn't but it wasn't like I could do anything to fix what was wrong. I just had to move forward.

About halfway through the ride back to King's Cross, I heard a knock at the window of our cabin. I glanced over and groaned at the sight of Malfoy and his usual goons. I stood up and yanked the door open.

"What do you three want now?"

Malfoy gave me an evil looking grin. "I heard you can see the thestrals?"

My eyes went wide. "None of your business Malfoy."

His grin grew. "That wouldn't have anything to do with what happened to your poor sister, would it?"

I drew my wand, a fire burning in the pit of my stomach. "Think very, very carefully about your next words Malfoy."

His grin was now a full on sneer. "Of course, she rather deserved it I think. Your mother, I mean, with how she revolted against her betters and all."

My mind went blank with rage. "That's it you bastard."

I shakily aimed my wand at his chest.

Petrificus totalus!

Malfoy collapsed to the floor like an action figure that had been dropped by a child. Crabbe and Goyle moved towards me but I aimed my wand at them and they backed off a bit. I glared down at Malfoy, who, for the first time ever, seemed scared.

"You will regret saying that, Malfoy. This isn't where I'm stopping."

I aimed my wand at his knee.

Confr-

I stopped midway through the spell. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Marie, her eyes pleading with me to stop. My heart sank. What was I doing? I stepped back into the cabin, shaking slightly as I slammed the door and Crabbe and Goyle hastily carried Malfoy off. I sat down next to Marie and began to cry.

I cried for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, my ears ringing loudly. How did he know about her? Why would he...

My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Marie, looking extremely concerned.

"Are... are you okay, Y/N? What happened back there?"

I blinked tears out of my eyes and looked at her and Hermione, who both seemed more concerned than I had ever seen them before.

"That wasn't you, Y/N, that wasn't the you I know, at least." Hermione said with a frown.

I took a deep breath. "Three years ago, my sister Siobhan got attacked. Former Death Eaters, I don't know their names. It happened right in front of me, I'm only alive because my mother was able to find us and fight them off.l before they could kill me. They... they tortured me and her, you can probably guess how, and she... she didn't get as lucky as Harry did. It was a completely random attack, first confirmed attack by them in nearly five years. Nobody outside my family and a few people at MACUSA know what really happened. It all got hushed up, I guess they didn't want people panicking that they were still out there. Malfoy knows, somehow."

Marie pulled me into a tight hug.

"Oh Y/N... I'm so sorry... I..."

I hugged her back. "It's ok Marie. I've just kind of tried to hide it away all these years and, well, today it all came back. With the thestrals, and then Malfoy."

Hermione looked at me with exceptionally sad eyes. "Were you really about to..."

I nodded. "Yeah. I wasn't thinking clearly. Not thinking at all really." I turned to Marie. "Thank you."

She frowned. "Huh?"

I smiled at her. "That look you gave me. That's what stopped me from going any further. You saved me from expulsion and likely much worse right there."

She smiled weakly and pulled me back into a hug. We stayed like that, silent, for the rest of the ride, mostly just staring out the window as snow fell along the side of the tracks. As I got off the train, I had more or less pushed the incident from my mind, or at least as much as you can with that sort of thing. One question lingered with me, though. How the hell did Malfoy know about her?