An American at Hogwarts

Mixed Signals

As Friday rolled around, our plan to send Norbert over to Charlie in Romania took shape. He was happy to take him, but since Norbert's very existence was sort of illegal (I still couldn't quite wrap my head around how that all worked), we had to sneak him out. Our plan was to have Harry, Ron, and Hermione sneak him up to the top of the owlery on Friday night using the invisibility cloak, where a few of Charlie's friends would pick him up and fly off on broomsticks. I still wasn't entirely sure how two wizards on brooms would carry off a baby dragon, but Charlie assured us they knew what they were doing, so I didn't question it. I was a bit peeved I wouldn't be able to join them, but the cloak would only fit three people, and I frankly was already in enough trouble after the incident with Malfoy, and didn't want to risk getting in any more. Unfortunately, our plans took a bit of a turn when Ron came back from meeting with Hagrid with a swollen hand. I was the only one in the common room at the time, since I was about to head off to detention with Snape, so I had the rare honor of being the one Ron complained to.

"He bloody bit me!"

I frowned. "Norbert?"

"Yeah. That thing is a menace, I tell you! I'm glad we'll be rid of him after tonight. Not sure why it's all swollen like this. Hope it's not infected or something, you never know what's been in that thing's mouth."

I thought back to what I had read about dragons. "Ron, you realize that Norbert is venomous, right?"

Ron went pale. "What?"

"I'd better get you over to the infirmary."

Ron struggled slightly as I dragged him behind me. "Wait! What will we tell Madam Pomfrey? We can't tell her the truth right?"

I frowned. "Just say something bit you down near Hagrid's hut. Say you couldn't tell what it was. Whatever happens it's better than you losing your hand to the venom. Come on now, I need to get to Snape's office for my detention after this and I'd very much rather not be late for that. He may be nicer to me than he is to you and the others but he still scares the hell out of me."

After leaving Ron with a rather amusingly flustered Madam Pomfrey, I rushed down to the dungeons to get to Snape's room on time. Thankfully, I arrived with a couple minutes to spare, albeit slightly out of breath.

"Ah, Mr. L/N. A bit early are you?"

I caught my breath. "Sorry sir, had another matter to deal with and thought I'd ought to get here now since I was already out and about."

"Very well. You will be helping me scour these cauldrons. One of my third year classes made some rather foolish errors when brewing a cure for boils. All Gryffindors, of course."

I sighed. Even if Snape did seemingly like me, he still wouldn't miss a chance for a jab at his least favorite house. I spent the next two or so hours helping him clean the cauldrons. Of course, since this was a punishment, I had to do so by hand, not that I think the scouring spell would have made things much easier. The residue was caked so thickly and strongly that I had to use a chisel to get some chunks out. As I was nearing the end of my detention, my hands screaming for a rest, Snape caught my attention with a cough.

"Mr. L/N. Indulge me, if you will. What makes you as you are?"

I frowned. "I... I'm not entirely sure what you mean sir."

"I see a great deal of ambition in you. You would have done well in Slytherin. It is what pushes you to practice advanced magic so much, is it not?"

I sighed. "In a sense, I suppose. I..."

I thought for a moment and decided to go for it.

"You know my mother, don't you sir?"

Snape's eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn't quite place. "I do. She is a good woman."

"Do you know anything about my family beyond her?"

Snape stiffened. "I know she married a muggle, and had two children. One of whom tragically passed away in a freak accident several years ago."

I fought back tears. "Siobhan. My sister. And it was no accident. Can you promise me not to tell anyone what I'm about to say? It's just that I could get in a lot of trouble if it came out that I talked about it."

Snape nodded.

"We were at our vacation home up in Vermont. Out on a hike through the mountains, just me and her. We got attacked. Former Death Eaters, apparently. Trying to use us to get revenge on our mother. They tortured us. Killed Siobhan. Would have killed me too if my mother hadn't somehow found where we were and defeated them. I saw her die, right next to me, tied up against the same tree. I was helpless. I... I never want to be helpless again. I want to be able to help. That's why I'm, as you put it, ambitious. I need to know that if something like that happens again, I will be able to do something about it. It's the only way I can move on."

Snape's face briefly showed an emotion I had never seen in him before. Sympathy. He quickly steadied himself and returned to his normal gloomy state.

"I... I see. I do not blame you, L/N. I... I know what it feels like. To be helpless like that."

We sat in silence for a moment, both of us a bit shocked at what was happening. Finally, Snape spoke up.

"You'd better be off now. Curfew is about to arrive, and I imagine you do not wish this day to become even worse. I know I may not be the... most attractive option, but know that I am here to talk if you need it. You should not be alone in this."

I was a bit surprised about the offer, but something in his voice told me he was speaking from experience. Whatever he had gone through, it must have been horrible enough to make him want to abandon his usual distant attitude.

"Th... thank you sir. Filch will collect me tomorrow, correct?"

Snape nodded. "Correct. And I suspect you will not be the only one he collects."

The last part confused me a bit, but I brushed it off and headed back to the common room and off to bed, ignoring the fact that Harry and Hermione seemingly hadn't returned from their little excursion. I was completely exhausted, not to mention utterly baffled and concerned. Either my mother had done a lot more for Snape than she had let on, or, even more worrying, I reminded him of himself. Those were the only possible explanations for him being downright caring towards me. I wasn't sure which was true, or indeed if either were true, but I did not particularly like the prospects of either.