"Wow, that's a new record, maybe we should do something?"
"Like what; sell him for five cows and a goat?"
"I can hear you, assholes!" Us peeled his face off of the table and slammed the empty glass down, demanding another drink.
"Stop making fun of me. I want a boyfriend." He said, wiping the tears on his cheeks. Build and Apo exchanged a look. It was always like this, for the past two years. Whenever Us got drunk, his whining about being single was just insufferable, yet they always listened and comforted him. Build filled his friend's glass with lime juice, grinning when Us drank it and grimaced at the sour taste.
"Sober up, dumbass." "I hate you." Us sniffled. "I hate both of you. I hate all of my friends. How is everyone in relationship but not me? It's not fair!" He said between blubbering and filling his glass with the tap water.
"I'm still young, and I'm hot. Don't laugh Apo, I know you don't think so. Not everyone will think I'm hot, that's okay. They're wrong, but it's okay. I'm hot, I can cook, I like being affectionate, and I'm funny. Why is it so difficult to score a good one?"
Apo sighed. "Why don't you go on dating apps?" "Because all the guys there just want to meet, fuck, and ghost afterwards! I'm sick of it!" Us wiped his face with the hem of his shirt and reached for the freezer to grab some ice cream.
"When I say I want a boyfriend I mean that I want to magically wake up tomorrow in a meaningful relationship, not that I want to date or meet new people or put extra effort towards making it a reality!" He said, almost childishly as his last words were interrupted by a brain freeze and he slapped his forehead. Apo rolled his eyes and mouthed 'talk to him' at Build who was now furiously texting his boyfriend.
"Wait." He slapped Apo's hand when he got poked, typing some more before triumphantly smiling and patting Us's shoulder. "What if we set you up with someone cool? Someone who wants to be in a relationship so desperately, just like you? Only he's younger a bit."
Us wiped the ice cream off his chin and hiccuped. "How old is he?"
"The age where you don't have to fear jail. So what do you say?"
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"Why are you so grumpy boss?"
"Another failed date. Stop calling me boss, I'm younger than you."
"What happened this time?"
"She said she wanted kids."
"Ouch. So you're dead set on not wanting any?"
"Yep. Condoms are cheaper than diapers anyway. I have to offload half of my company's finances because I'm single; that's the rule my grandfather has made. Damn it; I want to be married."
"So if that wasn't the rule, you wouldn't mind being single?"
"No, it's not just because of that. I want a wife."
Bible raised an eyebrow. "Well, why?"
"What do you mean why?" Ta tapped the log off button and switched his computer off.
"I want to come home to someone, that's why. I want to go on nice trips together, spoil her with gifts, maybe watch nice movies together, get a cat...She wouldn't even have to work because I got money." He shrugged, watching as the janitor came inside the office to empty the basket. The balding man gave Bible and Ta a nod and a goodnight before leaving for the night too.
"No, I meant.." Bible looked down at his phone. "Why does it have to be a woman? Since you don't want kids and want someone to live with you like a best friend, why can't it be a guy?"
Slightly weirded out by the suggestion, Ta stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds. "I guess I never thought of dating a guy." He admitted after a while. "Why?" "What if I set you up with someone who wants the same thing as you, just...not a woman. He's a friend of my boyfriend."
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"Don't worry, Us is really chill. He can get a little emotional at times, but he's very caring and sweet. So go and have fun. Fingers crossed!" Bible patted his young boss's shoulder. "What did you tell him about me?" "Hmm...that you're cool and rich and handsome and that you want to spoil the shit out of him. Kidding! Just the cool part and that you're 22." Bible said, stopping at the entrance of the restaurant where he and Build set them up to meet.
As the restaurant door opened, Ta suddenly hesitated. He turned to Bible and grasped his forearm to stop him from leaving the place. "Wait, you didn't tell me what he looks like?" Bible prayed Ta's grip off of his arm and shook his head. "Don't worry, you'll know when you see him. He's pretty." With those words, he shoved Ta inside and quickly dipped to make bet with Build on how will this go.
Us sat at a table by a big wall-art of a tiny headed woman in floral dress and a cat swirled around her torso as a belt. He thought it was a little pretentious, but the restaurant overall was also posh and it matched the aesthetics of its vintage Dior vibe. He was early by ten minutes, and was already getting bored of staring at the door, when there was a glance of a familiar person, pushing forward a tan stranger with slicked hair and popped collar. Us immediately thought he looked like a douche, but as he approached and nervously looked around, there was something endearing about him and Us raised his hand. "Over here."
