Hidden Secrets

31- Sailing

I didn't answer, I left the second the words fell from Carly's lips, turning around I went straight back to the airport, I didn't tell anyone where I had gone, I was so scared and I wasn't thinking straight, pushing me to the extent of getting on the next flight to Miami

How could I be so stupid?

Of course he had his girlfriend there. Of course that's the person he would want to see after getting hurt. He only went to me last time for the mere fact that she wasn't there.

I'm in Monaco with Lucas, we decided to train here until Roland Garros in two weeks, desperate to try and get my mind off everything

My lack of contact with Charles is strangling me, it feels like it's breathing down my neck, waiting for me to crack, like the cold air fighting hot breath

"Maybe I should dye my hair, i'm over blonde" I stare at myself in the mirror, my eyebrows cinched together

"You'd instantly regret it"

"Did you really need to say that? Stop being reasonable for one second" I glare at Lucas playfully while walking over to the bed and dropping down onto it on my stomach, looking up at him awaiting an answer

"What? Are you having a quarter life crisis"

"Is quarter even the right term? Wait, 20, 40, 60, 80, 83, 86, 89, 92, oh, yeah I guess it i-"

"No fucking way you have to count out loud!" He doesn't hide the astonished facial expression making me laugh, pushing off the head board of the bed his look quickly turns into one as if telling me i'm a psycho

"I never said I was the brightest!"

"Thank god you're good at tennis"

"Fuck off! I'm good at other things"

"Like what?"

"I'm a golfer, a photographer, oh! and I fully believe that if i'd started karting I could totally be a formula 1 driver. OH! and i'm a pro skier"

"You're delusional"

"No, just open minded" I call bullshit on myself

"Fine, show me these photographs of yours"

I roll my eyes, pulling out my phone I show him a picture of a sunset, over a cove that I remember all to well

"Anyone can take a sunset picture stupid, give me the phone" he takes it from me before I can reject, sliding out of it his eyes go wide, "Helena, princess, what is this?"

He extends the phone, displaying all the photos from Italy, why did I have to show him something from that time? Fuck

I quickly take my phone back, praying that Charles face isn't in any of them

"Care to explain what Charles Leclerc is doing in your camera roll, before you even met him"

"Alesia was sending me pictures of the drivers so I would know who everyone was for the grand prix, I guess I forgot to delete these"

"She made you know them? Like a class?" He laughs clearly buying my lie, I let out a breath of relief knowing I simply cannot have another person knowing about this.