Hidden Secrets

33- Emilia Romanga gp

Charles is starting on pole, I didn't hide my excitement in qualifying despite standing in the red bull garage earning me multiple surprised looks so now i'm sitting with Sofiia in McLaren

Lando is starting P7 with Daniel in P5

Sofiia will not shut up about how it's so much better in McLaren than being at Red bull but i'm pretty sure the only reasoning behind that is a curly haired brunette

Lando and Daniel are both preparing to get into their cars , the younger of the two listening to Sofiia while putting on his baclava, I watch my best friend while she talks to him, both of their faces are glowing with happiness, his eyes refusing to leave hers in order to give her his full attention until a mechanic comes over, instructing Lando that it's time to go

He gives Sofiia a quick kiss on the forehead before getting in the car, the second he's gone she turns around, a look of 'oh my fucking god' on both of our faces, mine for more of the fact that he just did that infront of everyone and I'm still pretty clueless to whatever situation they have going on

"AND ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO, LECLERC LEADS INTO TURN ONE, VERSTAPPEN OVERTAKING RUSELL FOR P2"

The entirety of the race i'm straining my eyes to make sure I don't miss the red Ferrari, he's crashed in two out of five races so far this year and am begging that his car or another driver doesn't fuck this up for him

-

Happy to say that they didn't fuck it up, he finished in P3, Max and Checo got a 1-2 podium

I can hear RedBull cheering for their drivers all the way from McLaren, Lando finished in P6 which everyone here is still generally happy about

Once they've gotten out of their cars I watch Charles and Carly, completely forgetting about the rest of the world, or the thousands of people around me, my vision focused on the couple, his eyes could hypnotize me even from here, despite the border line agonizing pain in my chest at the sight I can't look away, a small smile on my face at how proud I am of him, even if i'm not the girl in his arms, at least he's happy

if everyone else is okay, it doesn't matter if I am, that's selfish.

"Aww Helena" Sofiia shows up out of the corner of my eye, throwing her arm around me and pulling me close, "I wish I could take away all those feelings you have for him, I hate seeing you like this"

"It's my fault anyway" I send her a small smile before walking back to the garage to get away from everyone

I don't know if I want the feelings to dissipate, that'd mean that I officially lost him, that Italy is no more than a memory, with nothing else to prove for it. That pang in my heart, the knot in my throat, those prove that it all was real, that we spent enough time together for those feelings to arise when I see him with someone else, if I no longer felt anything, yes, i'd loose those torturous feelings of envy, the sinful jealousy but i'd also loose the soft whispers in my ear, and the chill that runs down my spine at his touch, the butterflies in my stomach at his use of my nicknames, i'd loose the bad, but what would happen to all the good along with it?

Sofiia- "Get your ass out here! You can't miss podium!" I laugh at the eagerness in her tone, how did I manage to get this girl into f1? Oh right, a McLaren driver did that for me.

Charles is introduced first, waving into the crowd as they erupt into loud cheers at the sight of him, he's soon followed by the two other drivers before they can spray the champagne, he turns towards the crowd, his eyes locking with mine although I may just be convincing myself of that, I get lost in his eyes despite the distance between us although quickly break the gaze at the feeling of champagne falling like raindrops over me

He sends me a small wink i've seen god knows how many times before spraying Max

"So what's going on with that"

I turn behind me to see Sofiia, "What's going on with Lando?"

"I asked first"

"I asked two weeks ago dumbass"

"Okay, fine" She rolls her eyes making me laugh, "We started talking at that party in Australia when you like disappeared to I have no idea"

"Okay" I edge her to continue in an attempt to distract me from the twist in my stomach at the thought of our conversations last night, we talked for like two hours

"I gave him my number and we've been hanging out ever since then, when we saw him in Monaco he asked me on a date and we've called every night that he's been gone"

"That's so cute what the hell"

"So, what's with Charles?"

"Friends. He asked to be friends."

"You said no, right?"

"I said yes" Saying no is a lot more than just refusing to be friends with him, it's loosing everything that we had, no more talks, or jokes, no more nicknames, even if we aren't dating, I still get the little things that are meaningless to him, but I can't let go, as if chains are tying me to him, refusing to allow me to move on, taunting me at my inability to get away, the devils on my shoulder and he's got a much more powerful voice than the voices in my head begging me to leave.

Words: 1002

This is so short I apologize i'm going to try my best to double update to make up for this since it's a filler chapter

DID YOU GUYS SEE CHARLES' SONG?? I'm gonna cry it still hasn't come out for me

Also i somehow have 1k followers on here so tysm i'm glad everyone is liking my book :)