You're my darling [Quackbur] Book 1 :]

Car dive "home"

December 28th

7:34 am

The time finally came that I have to go back and face my house, and Karl. He texted me when I woke up that he wanted to talk when I came back, I hope it doesn't escalate. Grabbing a sticky note and a pen, I wrote a good morning and explained everything to Wilbur and placed it on the freezer with a magnet. It feels odd to leave this house, especially since it feels like a home. No matter that, I go out to my car and start to drive home. 

The radio was playing some music that I didn't mind, it seemed sadder than what the radio normally plays. "This is the album Your city gave me asthma by Wilbur soot." W-Wilbur soot? Did I hear the radio right? I know Tommy said his father made an album before... but I didn't know it was on the radio. The first song began, the beginning was calming. The background noise of a train station with a gentle guitar atop of it. 

"You're wasting your time," it's a strong start to a song. I wonder what was going through Wilbur's head when writing this. Maybe it was when he was divorcing Sally? There was quite a few guitar breaks with no words, but I didn't mind. Hearing Wilbur's voice through the radio was odd though after hearing him clearly the last week and few days. "And the pavement hurt my feelings." Pfft- that's ridiculous. I knew he had a sense of humor but I wasn't expecting that!

"Cause the walls don't fucking love you." Suddenly the song got much more quicker, but enjoyable. This song is so sad, and I live far away from Will's house so I guess I'll be listening to this sad album for the trip. As the first song finished, I started to wonder about wilbur's thought process writing it. But then the next song started to play, beginning with Wilbur counting beats and the guitar strums.

I drove with the song in the background, the busy early morning roads from people going to work. "I think I've lost my mind." Then guitar strums, was Wilbur in a good headset writing these? "Serves to only mock me with flashing lights." He sounds so much sadder in this one than the last one. I'm going to give these more of a listen some time. My drive seemed nicer with his voice in the background.

Before I even noticed the next started, "This one is nice." I mumble and smile. It was calming. "Cut that bit out" Wilbur's chuckle made me smile, I like his laugh. Honestly, I like everything— well that's a much hyper beat than the last three aha! I was getting closer to my neighborhood however, but the beat makes me think he must've been better during this one— "Tonight I'm fucking drunk," Ah never mind. 

"Can he fuck more?"

"Are you good enough to be his wife?" These are getting odder.

"Can he break me?"

"Can he break you?"

... was he okay? Did something happen back then? I'll talk to him some day about the album. After I listen to it more myself! Ah, I'm in my neighborhood now. I don't want to see them just yet though. I know Sapnap is in emotional pain from this, so am I but if I don't accept it then I can't be sad. "As long as you're happy, I don't care." ... as long as who's happy Wilbur?

Ah I guess I won't be able to be in the car for too much longer, I can see Sapnap outside and Karl with his parents. Bad and Skeppy is here too? I pull into the driveway, hesitating to stop it. I want to stay and listen to his voice sing, even if it's sad.    

"I don't deserve you." Oh Wilbur. You know what, I'm not going to be able to prove myself I'm a good boyfriend to Wilbur if I can't even face my exes! I turn the car off and exist, my keys still in my hand when Karl's father runs up to me and slaps me straight across the face. My face stinging as I try to mumble out anything, "Wha—" "You think cheating on your boyfriend is a good way to be a boyfriend!?" He yells. 

Oh... oh good sir. "I'm sorry, but you must have a very one way view on this! I've been forgotten and abandoned by your son all because you don't like me! I was on the verge of killing myself before I met the man they saw me with, who is actually way nicer to me!" I yell back at him. I don't care if I snap at him, or Karl or Sapnap. I'll snap at whoever I want, I've been silenced in this relationship for way too long.

It's my turn to be fucking pissed.

Word count: 810