STAMP OF APPROVAL - a selection story

"and i'm choosing you"

L E V I

round sixteen ||

july 11th

[ 2:47 PM ]

"I choose you."

"But even if Charlotte chose me, would I stop running? Because I had her? Or would I end up like Dad and end up running toward things that'll hurt the both of us?"

Charlotte can't seem to stop grinning. The decision has seemed to fill her with peace and relief, but I find I can't think of anything else except the tremendous shock traveling through my system. Ambrose was wrong? But what about her with Quentin? Didn't she choose him? If she didn't choose him, did she eliminate him? Am I the only one left?

Did she just hang all of her hope on me?

She's waiting for me to say something, anything. Her hands are shaking as she delicately places them into mine. I feel her tighten her grip, intertwining our fingers. She's looking at me as if she knows how I'll answer, how I'll react, and she's hopeful in this. She's looking at me as if she's never had eyes for anyone else, but I think I'm going to throw up.

Her brows furrow at my silence. She's waiting so patiently, but my mouth won't open. I can imagine the hurt flashing in her eyes, much like when we were back in the garage when she came to surprise me. We made it through that fight. But that was nothing compared to this moment.

Here I thought she was coming to tell me to leave and instead I found her telling me to stay? Forever?

With her?

Everything inside screams yes. Of course I'd rather stay here. Of course I'd rather be with her. Of course, of course, of course, but still I can't answer. Because I'm running and it's as if Charlotte is telling me to stop but I don't know how to do anything else. She's pulling on me to stop, to slow down, to love her, but my feet won't stop because they know the truth. They know the hurt and pain down the road that is inevitable.

They know that I can't stop running to be with her, because I have to run to stop myself from turning into Dad. And if I stopped now, how soon would it be before I became him?

"I—" I manage, but I swallow, cutting myself off. Charlotte sits up expectantly, hand gripping mine tighter. "I'm... I don't know what to say," I admit, letting out a breath, struggling to keep my voice level. "Are you sure, Charlotte?"

She doesn't hesitate, unlike how I know she's been feeling since we came back from the home visit. "I'm sure." Now her gaze drops to her feet, no longer able to meet my eye. Ever so slowly, she faces me once more, her voice low as she continues, "I love you, Levi." The emotion is her words break me, and I squeeze her hands tighter.

I meet her gaze, my eyes filling with tears.

"Levi?" she asks softly, but the only thing I can hear is a ringing in my ears.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head, taking back my hand to comb through my hair. "It's just... it's a lot." I clear my throat, needing to look away from her and gather my thoughts. But it's hard with her holding my other hand and staring at me so intensely, I swear, my heart will explode. "Charlotte," I start, swallowing. "Why? Why me?"

I didn't expect the small amount of hurt to cross her face before she attempts to explain.

"Sorry," I murmur, yanking myself away from her grasp, scooting on the creeper until I have removed myself from under the car. I sit up, putting my face in my hands before I hear Charlotte move as well. I stand quickly, distancing myself from her as she comes into view. She watches me with a solemn expression on her face, as if she knows the extent of the war inside of me.