It was fairly common knowledge that half the books in the Astral Library were cursed to hell and back. Everyone was pretty sure that Tango had just taken every single book he'd collected over the six-hundred-or-so years of his life, curse or no curse, and thrown them on the shelves with no regard for actual safety. Nobody would actually stop to work or read in the library, right? It would be fine!
There was a book calling to Etho.
It appeared to be one of those cheesy self-help books, with a title like Seven Easy Steps To Never Be Sad Again! and nauseatingly cheerful clipart on the cover. This one had a light grey cover, and was relatively thin, about the size of a children's novel. The title was Regaining Your Edge: How To Beat The Allegations That You Are Slipping, which sat above a smiley face that was staring directly into Etho's soul. The longer he stood there, examining the book, the more he wanted to pick it up and see what it was about.
The thing is, picking up cursed books is generally considered to be a bad idea, and that goes doubly for cursed books that want to be picked up. But, if he was being honest with himself, Etho was getting sick of the allegations that he was washed-up. Not all cursed artefacts were bad, Etho reasoned. Hell, if it wasn't for a certain cursed artefact, Tango wouldn't have been on Hermitcraft to build this library!
So, naturally, Etho picked up the book.
He sat down at a nearby desk to read it, quickly becoming engrossed enough to easily ignore the outside world. It seemed to be, for the most part, a book full of combat tips, from a refresher on the modern meta to tricks for accommodating or eliminating bad habits carried over from old PvP. However, at the back of the book was something incredibly interesting.
The final page of the book was a little table, labelled 'My Self-Improvement Plan'. According to the instructions, all Etho had to do was sign his name in the dedicated box, and the rest of the table would magically fill itself out to provide 'a plan that will show results almost instantly!'
If Etho hadn't been hooked before, he was now. He grabbed a pen, not really thinking about the consequences, and signed his full name: Etho S. Lab. As promised, the table filled itself out, and Etho felt a confident smile form under his mask. It was time to beat the allegations once and for all.
If only he had noticed the tiny text at the bottom of the page that declared his soul forfeit to the book's author upon signing.
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When False had asked if anyone wanted to be her sparring partner in preparation for the next MCC, Etho had leapt at the chance to test out how he'd improved. Sure, there was teasing in the chat from the other Hermits, but they had no idea what Etho had been up to these past couple weeks.
"We'll be going to first blood," False informed him, handing him a stone sword, "So that we don't have to go through the motions of respawn between each match."
"How many matches are we doing?"
"First to three victories wins."
"Got it."
And so the two began to duel. Etho won the first match handily – he'd been warmed-up already and False hadn't, that was easy enough to explain. False won the second match, driving Etho into a corner and pinning him there until his arms grew too tired to block. Etho won the third match, utilising the agility he'd been training to slip behind False and strike before she could turn. False won the fourth match, refusing to fall for the same trick twice and hitting Etho while he was on the move.
Finally, it came down to this, the fifth match. The two combatants were evenly matched – every strike had a parry, every parry had a riposte. False tried Etho's trick on him, but both were too fast for any blood to be drawn. Etho tried to drive False into a corner, but she eluded any push in any direction. Both parties were getting desperate, trying riskier and riskier strategies just to get the fight to end, one way or another.
Ultimately, the end came when Etho lunged, attempting to use his slight height advantage over False to ensure victory, but he forgot to keep his stance wide, and False swept his legs out from under him, before poking him in the side with her sword, just deep enough to draw blood.
"That was... actually difficult," False remarked, pausing to catch her breath. "So much for the washed-up allegations, huh?"
"Yeah," Etho wheezed, still collapsed on the ground. The ground was nice, he decided. He'd be staying here for a while, he thought, at least until his lungs started cooperating again.
"GG?" False offered him her hand, both as a handshake and to help him up.
"GG." Etho took her up on only the first part of the offer.
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Of course, you can't have a cursed artefact without the negative side effects coming into play at least a little bit. Hence how Etho found himself running for his life from a cloaked figure with glowing blue eyes on a fine Tuesday afternoon like this one. Heart hammering in his chest, Etho found himself backed against the foot of the mountain leading up to Decked Out II. With nowhere left to run, he drew his sword, and began to fight back.
Interestingly, the statute of limitations on his improved PvP skill didn't appear to have run out when the person who granted it had come to collect his soul. Combine that with the fact that their stance and disposition suggested that they were better used to fighting with a ranged weapon, and Etho was able to hold his own against them surprisingly well. Sure, he was losing ground up the hill, but he'd gotten a few hits in while remaining untouched.
After what felt like hours, but was really probably only a couple minutes, of fighting, Etho's assailant stopped, and backed away.
"Fine, you win this one," they sighed. "But I'll be back!"
With that, they let out a cackle and vanished in a storm of navy-blue lightning.
"For what it's worth, she won't be back," Tango spoke, suddenly materialising behind Etho.
Etho let out a noise that started as a scream and sorta twisted its way into Tango's name about halfway through.
"I told her, you know, that making a soul contract that makes the contractor better at fighting you off was a bad idea."
"You... know her?"
"Oh yeah, we're old friends. She's responsible for half the cursed books I own," Tango replied, all nonchalant, as if he hadn't just admitted to being friends with someone who'd just tried to kill Etho. "Congratulations on beating the washed-up allegations, by the way!"
Etho gave Tango the most withering look he could manage. Tango grinned and gave him a thumbs-up in reply.
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As previously stated, I LIVE.
Writers block has been kicking my butt, and combined with the fact that I have an original novel that I want to finish by the end of May, it's..... not going well.
In other news, I am technically an mcyt now. Or, I will be on Thursday. More updates to come!
I've been Entropy, peace out from the present!
