Vintagebeef was definitely changing, even if he himself didn't seem to be really noticing it. There was his yellow eyes, for one. There also was the green chitin spreading, for another. He didn't seem to leave his base that much anymore, and he was often found staring into nothing for a good few moments before anyone could snap him out of it.
Oh, and there was also the screaming. That was a pretty big thing, wasn't it?
At first, nobody had been quite sure where it had been coming from, just that every night, the server was filled with the most ungodly screeching-clicking noise, audible all the way between the YWC and Boatem, from the spawn village to Big Eye Bay. It was so seemingly omnipresent, that it was incredibly difficult to trace its source.
Thankfully, there did seem to be a way of triangulating it, in the form of just who was losing the most sleep due to the awful noise. Stress, for example, hadn't managed to get a wink of sleep in the several days since it had stopped. xB and Hypno, on the other hand, were for the most part able to ignore it. (They had offered the swamp gals noise-cancelling headphones, for the low, low price of an IOU. Thankfully, False had the presence of mind to dissuade the other two.)
Since the swamp gals were the worst affected, but they had all been observed not screaming while the screaming was going on, it had to be Jevin or Beef. Both denied any involvement with the noise, but both of them had undergone strange changes recently, so it was fair to assume that if they were the ones screaming, that they may not be aware of that information.
So, in order to prove their innocence, a deal was made. Each would be observed by someone they trusted (Etho, in Beef's case, and Wels in Jevin's) until such a time as the screaming started, at which point it would be known whether or not they were the ones making the noise or not.
For the first twelve hours of observation, things were fairly normal, but that was to be expected – the screaming only seemed to be happening at night, after all. As the sun set, Jevin refused to go to sleep, much to Wels' chagrin, as apparently slimes didn't need to do that. On the other hand, Beef seemed to want to turn in as soon as the sun disappeared over the horizon, as if all the energy had bled from his body. Etho bade Beef goodnight, and set about making the most cursed ramen imaginable in Beef's kitchen in lieu of any real meal.
Five minutes into Etho's ramen, the screaming started. Previously, Etho hadn't really minded it – screeching was actually not that bad of a sound to him, so he'd learned to tune it out pretty quickly. However, now it seemed like it was right in his ear, and that, more than anything, was incredibly grating.
With a sigh, Etho abandoned his ramen, going to check in on Beef. He was expecting Beef to be asleep on his bed. He was not expecting Beef to be standing in the hall, staring into the middle distance with unseeing eyes, screaming and flapping his elytra to make a clicking sound.
Well, that was one mystery solved, at least. Etho went up to Beef, and waved his hand in front of Beef's face. As expected, Beef didn't react – he was well and truly sleepwalking. Sleepscreaming? Whatever. This made things slightly more difficult, but Etho was a man of many talents, and one of those talents was pestering Beef.
He stood next to Beef, intermittently shaking and poking him, in perfectly-measured intervals, with increasing frequency. Eventually, Beef stopped screaming, staggering back, blinking his eyes rapidly.
"...What? Huh?"
"It's you," Etho informed him.
"Oh."
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"So," Beef mused, staring into his mug of coffee like it would give him all the answers, "What do we do about it?"
"Melatonin?" Etho suggested.
"Smother you with a pillow every time you start screaming!" Jevin added. Wels hit him over the head with the hilt of his sword.
"We are not – we are not smothering Beef," Wels insisted, hiding a yawn behind his hand.
"I dunno, it might work," Beef shrugged. "That or not sleeping, I feel bad for you guys, and just me losing with sleep is better than you all losing sleep."
"That's not a solution," Wels shook his head. "Will someone please suggest an actual solution?"
"Melatonin?" Etho repeated.
"What the hell is Melatonin?" Wels asked. Etho shrugged, eating another mouthful of his ramen.
"I dunno," Etho spoke – Wels realised that he'd somehow eaten the ramen without removing his mask – "But I do like the idea of stopping Beef from screaming whenever he starts somehow."
"Not smothering," Wels insisted.
"Not smothering," Etho agreed.
"I seem to only start screaming when I stand up, maybe if I take a turtle master potion before bed, I won't be able to stand up and start screaming?"
"It's better than anything else we've got, I guess," Wels shrugged.
"Why don't we give it a go?" Etho offered.
"Seems good to me!" Jevin agreed. "And if he does start screaming-"
"No."
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Thankfully for Beef (and unfortunately for Jevin), the plan seemed to work! For the first time in ages, the server fell quiet at night, and the disrupted hermits gratefully accepted the newfound opportunity to sleep.
"Oh!" Joe realised, as the group explained their solution at the next server meeting. "He's turning into a cicada!"
"A what now?" Cleo asked. Joe shrugged.
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This fic was brought to you by my childhood.
I've been Entropy, peace out from the present!
