Dive

Chapter Seventeen

"I'm oxygen and he's dying to breathe." ― Tahereh Mafi

"Are you okay?"

Amanda's voice makes me tear my gaze away from the floor-to-ceiling windows offering an ample view of the pool outside. Voices filter through the half-open glass door, accompanied by the sound of laughter a second later.

"What?" I say, and my cheeks tinge pink because I obviously wasn't paying attention. But that is not the sole reason for my embarrassment. I feel a bit guilty because I was spying on Knox from the safety of the house while he stood outside, unaware of the fact that he was being watched.

"Something is up with you," my friend concludes, and her perfectly manicured brows pull together. "You've been acting weird since you arrived."

How do I tell her that her cousin kissed me in the car only two hours ago? That I've been thinking about that kiss every second since it happened? That Knox is acting as if nothing has happened, while I feel as if I'm about to climb the walls of this house because I'm so confused. I want to talk to him, but he is clearly not feeling the same way.

I don't even know what I would say to him. I only know that I need to address these thoughts before they consume me with their intensity.

"Nothing is up with me." I try to sound convincing, and judging by her expression, fail spectacularly.

She puts down the bottle of gin and sighs. "Are you really giving me this crap? You know you can't lie to me. What happened?"

"Nothing happened," I insist, unwilling to tell her about the kiss. I can't. Not when I know she won't take it well.

Amanda may be my best friend, but Knox is family and she is protective of him. And how can I explain something when I don't fully understand it myself?

She opens her mouth to say more, but the glass door slides open and Jamie comes in, followed by Knox. They are talking about a game of football – all relaxed postures and good dispositions. Jamie smiles when he spots Amanda and me standing at the kitchen island. Unable to help myself, my gaze flies to Knox behind him. He is looking at his cousin, my presence dutifully ignored.

"How are those drinks coming up?" Jamie asks. He is Ella's husband, and even though this is my first time meeting him, I can already tell that he is a fun guy to be around.

Amanda picks up the bottle of gin again and pours into the last glass. She's making gin and tonics with a personal twist. "Almost done," she says, tossing a few lime slices and blueberries into the mix. "Steaks?"

"Done," Jamie declares.

"Can you grab the salad from the fridge?"

"Sure thing."

As he walks past me on his way to the fridge, I risk another glance at Knox. My heartbeats pick up pace when I realize he's looking at me. The eye contact only lasts for a second before he turns his attention back to Amanda.

"You need help with that?" He nods to the glasses on the island top.

"Yeah," she says, unaware of the sudden tension suffocating the air around us.

He gives me a wide berth as he goes to grab the drinks she just finished, and the tension lining my shoulders increases tenfold. He grabs the tray and carries it outside, not sparing me another glance as he gives me his back and disappears under the brilliant glow of the afternoon sunshine.

Something inside me breaks, and I suddenly feel like a teenager with a crush that has just been rejected by the popular guy at school. With a dry swallow, I excuse myself and head upstairs. I barely get to see Amanda's frown before I'm making my way up the stairs and go straight for the bedroom I'm occupying for the weekend.