Race till the end-formula 1

1-2019

Everyone saw the pictures over the winter break.

Having them put it out for all to see felt like a sin. They were blurry with rain and taken from afar but the scene was still clear to everyone.

He looked beautiful, he was beautiful, as he stood alone his feet digging into the muddy ground. It was merciful that you couldn't see his eyes, they were so red but he still didn't cry once, he couldn't.

The rain in Belgium was heavy that day his coat soaked. A flower grasped so hard in his fists the thorns had long since embedded themselves and made a home in his skin. It was cinematic and beautiful but it was ugly all the same.

It was ugly in the way he stood there alone, in the way that the blood from the thorns dripped to the ground, in the way it was stolen by a mediocre photographer and plastered everywhere.

 here he was It was Amadeus completely vulnerable all for the world to see.

And they will see him because just like that a week later Amadeus was walking the paddock in Australia trying to act like everything was perfectly fine.

His mother hadn't just died. Everything was fine.

........

Amadeus would say he was a good actor, great even. If no one knew he had buried his mother a week prior they would have never guessed. But the problem was that they did know. everyone knew.

All eyes were on him, pats on the back, and empty words meant to comfort him.

"she's in a better place," someone said.

Amadeus couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips at the sound of these words.

rose was not in a better place because if she was then the bar must be truly on the floor.

He wanted to cope as he always did. Push everything down and focus on racing, he had a new team and expectations to live up to and that is what he wanted to lose himself in. Unfortunately the freshness of everything and being thrown into the spotlight almost immediately after was not helping.

So he spent the entire conference fiddling with his ring and waiting for the pleasantries thrown at him to pass, waiting for the man sitting next to him to stop staring at him like he was going to erupt at any moment.

...

daniel watched intently as the boy sat next to him.

He heard the news he saw all the posts made by f1 by Redbull honoring their late engineer one of the best in the history of Redbull. But Daniel also saw the pictures he saw how tense Amadeus was.

Now he was sat next to him at the pre-race conference. all his answers were short and clipped. Daniel looked at him as he shook his head at another "I'm so sorry for your loss" his hair fell in front of his face. He had cut it. The long black hair that used to flow down his back was now cut to barely graze his shoulder.

He looked so much older.

Daniel remembers vividly the first time he met Amadeus. He remember the quiet 18-year-old that Christian dragged towards him. A lanky kid with the longest hair Daniel had seen on a boy and eyes that carried a glint of excitement and youth. Now the Amadeus sitting next to him was so obviously not a kid with a sharp face, the glint in his eyes was long gone.

Daniel was snapped out by the interviewer's question.

"Amadeus first and foremost my deepest condolences truly Rose was one of the greatest engineers in redbull and I know that she will be missed dearly by all of us"