Race till the end-formula 1

23

amadeus suddenly sprung up from the couch. He sat up placing his head between his hands as he breathed in heavily. fifth time this week. He isn't sleeping and when he does this is the result.

He was in his apartment in Italy for the IMOLA GP. He had been back for two days from Portugal which hadn't gone how he needed it to. he ended up in p4 from pole position after he got shunted by Leclerc. Media has become extremely stress full as he neared the end of the season. All eyes were on him as Lewis's main competition for the world title.

According to his calculations if Lewis gets p1 in Imola and Turkey then it's going to be him who takes the championship. Amadeus wasn't that far away in points but he still needed to end up in p1 the next two races to have a shot. The pressure was getting to him and everything was getting more difficult to manage.

He rubbed his face and got up.

...

"how has it been since we last spoke," dahlias voice rang through the speakers of his laptop.

"not umm.. not great" he sighed

"I mean I haven't been sleeping well, and umm it's been very stressful after Portugal so yeah not good"

"panic attacks?" she asked softly.

"yeah lots of those... almost twice a day now"

"and nausea?"

"Only after the panic attacks, im a bit dizzy after those as well but I don't think is the medication"

"tell me amadeus is there anything else other than racing that is a possible stressor for you the past week"

Amadeus sighed rubbing his eye violently.

"My old downstairs neighbor called, from the house i grew up in, there are issues with my mother's house in Antwerp, water leakage of some sort, it's damaging my neighbor's wall or ceiling or something like that, my lawyer thinks I should sell it"

"and so you want to sell it?"

" my lawyer said it's better than the hassle it is to keep it, and property taxes and all that shit."

"do you want to sell it?"

"i... I don't know"

"you called it your mother's house, do you not feel like it was your childhood home as well"

amadeus laughed

"No. no. of course not...what childhood"

"then why do you want to keep it"

"I don't know... it's her home she wouldn't have sold it"

"Do you want to know what I think?" she said her blue eyes softening at him through the screen.

"of course, this is why im doing this"

"I think that house resembles everything you hate, everything that hurt you was under that roof, but it also holds everything you loved..."

"There wasn't anything to love," he said frustrated

"Amadeus, do you remember any good memories with your mother?"

"... very very few"

"Can you tell me one?"

".....When she wasn't drunk she wasn't as violent..." he inhaled "Once after I had won a karting championship we got home and she got me ice cream, we sat on the couch and watched a movie I was ten maybe then she started saying how im going to make it all worth it for her, how I was going to make it up to her...She was always calmer after my wins, that was the only time I felt she didn't hate me"