After a very long and infuriating conversation, Kiyoshi cried himself to sleep that night.
Shingo's bitch ass had gotten Joe and Andre to trade on Kiyoshi, and he's been trying to get me and Gakuto to do the same.
"Kiyoshi-Dono, if you'd like you can have one of my nuggets to make you feel better." Gakuto offered.
Shingo stabbed his chopstick in the nugget Kiyoshi went to grab and hurriedly ate it.
"Wow, thanks Gakuto. I was hungry anyways." Shingo said.
"Fuckin asshole." I sighed.
"What, Chisaki? You gonna side with the traitor? He's the reason you didn't leave this shithole today! Aren't you upset about that?!" Shingo yelled.
"I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to, yelling and shit. Calm the fuck down. Plus, it's just another month, I don't care much for school anyways so it's not that deep. Though I do wish to not be stuck in here with you idiots for any longer, another month won't do any harm." I looked off to the side, crossing my arms.
"Bullshit! All you do is make up lies to seem cool and tough!" Shingo yelled.
I looked at Shingo, his eyes meeting mine as I narrowed them.
"Do you gaslight yourself every night to think that this is all an act?" I asked.
"W-what? No, I-."
"Because if not, then you're stupider than you look." I spoke calmly, standing up.
"From my rigorous training day in and day out, my personality, and my ability to shut you the fuck up with one simple look, it should be plainly obvious I'm not fucking around. I don't dick around for shits and giggles with my buddies like you do, Shingo. I don't pretend to be someone and something that I'm not. It's cowardly, it's idiotic, and most of all it's just plain embarrassing." I said, walking closer to him as he backed away.
"And the way that you're backing away from me with the look of fear in your eyes is telling me that you're just talking out of your ass to seem cool and tough, because I intimidate you. I instill fear into every single person in this room, and you want them to think that you're the only one not afraid of me, so that they can perceive you as above me- no...so that you can perceive yourself as above me. Let me make one thing clear, Shingo..." I said and placed my hand on his shoulder, bringing him closer to whisper in his ear.
"I run shit in here. If I wanted to kill you, I'd be able to and get away with it as easy as walking. So think about your words and actions very carefully the next time you want to play pretend...'Kay?" I smiled menacingly as I gripped Shingo's shoulder tighter, and I backed away from his ear.
He stood there completely shocked, sweat dripped from his forehead yet he grit his teeth and shrugged my hand off his shoulder, and shoved me away from him.
"Strike two." I whispered.
"Sh-shut up! You're all talk! Kill me? You don't have the guts! You've never killed in your life!" Shingo yelled.
I tilted my head at him as my smile grew. My vision felt off as darkness began to cloud my sight.
"If that was true...then you'd be my first kill...wouldn't you?" I asked. The darkness turned into something akin to static and my finger twitched.
"Guys...?" Kiyoshi asked.
I snapped out of my trance, the darkness clearing up and I turned to the open prison gate.
"Gonna shower. Bye." I said and left.
As I made my way to the showers, I encountered Meiko. She went to speak to me but I pushed past her and went into the shower rooms.
The door had burst open and I looked over to see Meiko.
"Wh...what's wrong with you?!" She asked.
I looked away from her.
"Meiko...I'd really like to be left alone." I said.
I was lying, but to be honest I knew she'd stay even if I told her to leave.
Meiko walked over in front of me.
"What's wrong?" She asked again, but more gently.
I looked off to the side.
"I just...got really upset is all." I said.
"Tell me about it." Meiko said.
I let out a huff.
"Meiko, seriously I don't want to..." I said and when I looked at her, there was genuine worry in her eyes.
Her eyes...made me melt right then and there, and I fell to my knees.
"I...think I'm falling into a pit of darkness...and I don't want to go there...not again." I said.
"What...do you mean?" Meiko asked. She crouched down to my level, placing her hand on my cheek as I refused to look at her.
"I had an altercation with Shingo, and the more bullshit he spouted the more I wanted to kill him...and I could feel myself getting to that point...I don't want to hurt anyone, especially when they aren't really a threat..." I said.
"Why is it that the urge to kill lurked in your mind?" Meiko asked. She sat down fully and forced my head in her lap, making me a lot more comfortable...and vulnerable.
"My...my family...we're all trained assassins. I can't say much...but ever since I was able to walk my parents drilled into me the basics of killing. I had gotten my first kill on my 10th birthday. He was my best friend's dad, but apparently he had been laundering money from someplace that was affiliated with a gang, who called a hit out on him, and my parents thought it'd be a good idea for me to finally inherit the family's secret business." I explained.
I looked up at Meiko.
"Ever since that day I've killed...and killed. I haven't killed anyone in the past year because I've been enrolled in this school, and my parents want me to focus on protecting my sister. She's the only one that wasn't trained to be an assassin due to her fragile health, and that's also why I even got enrolled here...because she can't protect herself." I added.
Meiko's hand caressed my head.
"I...forgot about how I felt when I killed those people...the rush I gained when their blood was on my hands...my brain coded killing into my everyday life so much so that if I didn't have a mission...I would go and kill anyone who upset me...I hated being an assassin...and being here helped me forget about it. Shingo...Shingo brought that feeling back...every time he upsets me I hear a voice in my head, yelling to kill him. Sometimes I even imagine how he'd sound...with a knife lodged deeply in his throat." I continued.
I only noticed I was rambling and shot up.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to say all of that." I apologized.
"I should take a shower." I said.
Meiko grabbed my hand as she stood up.
"It's okay...Chisaki. I-...I don't know how you feel, nor will I ever know, but I understand that is not how you wish to feel. It's not who you want to be...and I'm here for you." Meiko said, a small blush on her cheeks.
A small smile etched onto my face.
"That's nice of you Meiko. Thank you."
She turned on the shower and locked the doors with her key.
"Huh...?"
"In order to help you feel better, I will bathe you."
"HUH?!"
