Camastoo: Our Life

Worried

"Your what?" Arastoo questioned.
"I'm pregnant!" Tears started to fill my eyes, I felt them slowly slip down my face onto my blue satin dress.
I walked away from Arastoo,
"Cam? Cam don't be like this!" Arastoo tried to grab my hand but I shook him off and continued to walk to my office.
When I reached my office I packed my things away, grabbed my handbag and left.
I picked Ryan up from daycare and put him in his car seat, Ryan was almost a year old and was getting bigger and stronger. I drove home, Four red lights and a roundabout later I was home. It was cold outside and Ryan had started to cry, I rushed to the door fumbling with the keys. Finally I found the right one and shoved it into the keyhole. I got Ryan into his blue boat pyjamas and gave him his night time bottle. He was finally sleeping through the night and didn't need night feeds. I put him in his cot and sat on my rocking chair until he'd finished his bottle and fallen asleep. I took the bottle out of his crib and walk onto the landing and shut his door. I went downstairs to wash his bottle up when I heard a knock at the door.
I looked through the small window in the front door, Arastoo.
I opened the door, he had been crying.
"Arastoo?" I said concerned
"Cam, I'm sorry about the way I reacted!" Arastoo apologised.
"Come inside!" I sighed.
Arastoo walked past me and went into the living room, I shut the door and followed him.
"Cam, I'm scared!" Arastoo was walking around the room.
"Why? We've coped with Ryan!" I assured him as he finally sat down next to me, I turned to face him.
"It's not about having another child, it's what the pregnancy does to you!" Arastoo said apprehensively.
"If your talking about the stretch marks and extra weight then that's very self-centred of you!" I smirked.
"You know that's not what I mean Cam, I'm talking about the fits and the melt downs in the NICU!" Arastoo self-willed.
"Stop worrying, the chances of me having eclampsia again can't be that high!" I held Arastoo's hands and smiled.
"Cam I'm just scared that if you lose the baby I might lose you!" Arastoo looked up into my eyes.
"Can we not talk about miscarriages please!" I was annoyed that he'd even bought it up.
I stood up and left the room to get ready for bed, as I was walking up the stairs I heard Ryan start to cry and rushed to his room.
I looked into his crib and saw blood, I panicked and picked him up. Tears were falling down his small face and the blood was coming from his mouth, his two upper incisors had come through. I sighed. I took him to my room and laid him on my bed. My pyjamas were folded neatly on the stool that belonged the my dressing table. I undressed and put my clothes into the hamper that sat in the corner of the bedroom. I put on the jogging bottoms and baggy shirt that were my pyjamas for the night. I was sad that I had just lost all the baby weight from Ryan and my stomach was finally as toned as it had been, and I was about to spend night months gaining it all back. Ryan was sitting up and staring at me. I picked him up and took him to the bathroom and washed his face with some 'Johnson's baby wipes' and he continued to stare at me with his big brown eyes. After I had got all the blood off of his face, neck and hands I put him in the baby bouncer which was situated in my room.
I walked back into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and then my hair. I washed my face and hands. I heard Ryan giggling and walked into my bedroom.
"His teeth came through!" Arastoo exclaimed.
"Yeah!" I said smiling at Ryan's happy face.
"Do you want me to get him changed?" Arastoo was talking about the blood down Ryan's Boat pyjamas.
"I was going to do it." I went to pick Ryan up.
"Are you kidding, you've got to get up early in the morning!" Arastoo said.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Morning sickness!" Arastoo whispered.
He was right, I would wake up suddenly and a wave of nausea would come over me. I gave Ryan to Arastoo and got into bed, Arastoo came in about ten minutes later and wrap his arms around me and I whispered
"Everything will be okay!"

I woke up and ran to the bathroom, I threw up the dinner I never had and Arastoo held my hair out the way as I emptied the content of my stomach into the toilet bowl.