HAVEN - Fem!character x Fem!reader

LOST YOU - PT. II (Natasha)

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PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

CW: angst no comfort, mentions of cheating (Nat) and pregnant!Wanda, implied g!p Nat

SUMMARY: Natasha finds a letter after her recent mission

A/N: It could be read as a stand-alone too. I saw the requests for Y/n getting with another person, but this part two was kind of an accidental write. This was going to be a whole other angst oneshot, but it ended up becoming what it is not that I mind. Inspired by NIKI's Oceans & Engines. I hope you guys enjoy this and I might but I can't promise a part 3. Lemme know if you'd like that :)

WORDS: 1,793

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Natasha had just returned to the compound after a four-month mission. The injuries and soreness from her body couldn't compare to the mental and emotional damage that returned with her. It was a mission that could've cost her life if she wasn't careful, and she couldn't tell anyone about it per Director Fury's orders. Ignoring the casual welcomes of her team, Natasha heads to her room. However, hesitance filled her when she held the doorknob and entered the room. She plops her gear bag onto the floor as the sight of a clean room welcomes her.

Her hands balled into fists to prevent themselves from shaking as she released a ragged breath. The welcoming scent that usually washes over her was no longer present and replaced with nothingness. Her bedroom felt lifeless, but she tried to shake it off, walking toward her bed when she saw an envelope. Natalia, my love, it says. She knew exactly who this was from, and her indifferent facade cracked. Sitting at the edge of her bed, Natasha looks at the ceiling, preventing the dam of tears that pooled in her eyes from breaking. She can't cry. Not now, not forever, for this was her mistake. Natalia Romanova doesn't deserve to cry after what she did.

"How long have you been cheating on me? With Wanda?"

"You could've told me you wanted more. I would've given everything up to make you happy. You just needed to tell me, not her..."

"Divorce papers are coming in a few days..."

"I was going to give you one more chance because I love you... but she's with a child."

A two-month affair that ruined her marriage and made a new life...all because she wanted more. Natasha's selfishness and greediness caused her to lose you: her wife, and now, unfortunately, her ex-wife. She didn't know why she did it, cheated. She had no romantic feelings for Wanda, nor did she. Natasha loves you with her heart. They were just using each other to fill their needs. She doesn't deserve to hurt you. She doesn't deserve you. She didn't deserve to have you in the first place. Her insecurities got the best of her and led her to seek someone else for comfort. She didn't want to become a burden, but it didn't give her an excuse for doing what she did.

Natasha regretted many things and hated herself for not being enough for you and hurting you. She should've just communicated, even if talking her emotions out wasn't something she was comfortable with due to her past. Natasha should've trusted you because she knew you would understand her, but the gnawing feeling in her chest, making her feel like she was drowning, prevented her from being truthful. She didn't want to be weak in front of you because you had a handful on your platter. She didn't want you to be fed up with her and her baggage, causing you to leave her. Her self-sabotage did the work for her, and it would take a miracle for you to return in her arms. Now, Natasha has to deal with more missions to distract herself and help Wanda with her pregnancy as much as she can.