Lioness in training

Squad selection

Ellis's pov:

The next few days were pretty uneventful I was getting a lot closer with a lot of the girls especially Leah, she just seemed to understand. Whenever I got nervous she would be there to comfort me and reassure me it felt nice to know there was someone who cared. Georgia was my partner in crime we made it our mission to prank people and this had made us a few enemies although people got over it quickly as it was just a bit of fun.

It was good I really was starting to feel at home with these girls, I missed the team back in Germany but I was starting to get comfortable here. I could see myself getting even closer with the girls. There was just the small task of getting selected for the final squad of 23. Today was the day Sarina was calling us into her office one by one, everyone was nervous even people like Lucy who was a shoe in to get in. Everyone was sat in silence waiting for the news.

I had to tell myself this was an amazing experience whatever happened, I mean I was only 17 but really I wouldn't want to leave I was having an amazing time and I felt I was playing so well. I just never wanted it to end.

My phone started ringing making everyone in the room jump, it was Jill with everything going on I had slightly neglected my best friend. I felt bad but I just got caught up in the little bubble of camp to quickly, I mean Jill was busy with her own camp so hopefully she wasn't to annoyed. I quickly answered hoping that it would make the wait for my name to be called less agonising.

Jill: '' Hey little one, its been a while I've missed you, how is camp going any issues?''

Ellis: ''I'm sorry Jilly, things are just moving so quickly, I've missed you as well, I missed our daily catch up''

Jill: ''It's ok I get it I mean international camps are a lot you see people you haven't seen in a while or in your case never met, and you want to spend time with them. I get it just dont let it get to much its okay to take a step back''

Ellis: '' Woah look at you Jilly getting all serious whats this about''

Jill: '' I'm just checking I know meeting loads of new people can be stressful and I just dont want you to suffer in silence, the team have messaged me asking how you are, I know you are not normally good at responding but they worry El.''

Ellis: ''I know it's just hard staying on top of everything, but I'm fine I promise, triple promise''

Jill: '' Please don't lie to me El, the shake in your voice is saying otherwise, and Leah texted me asking how she can help, you had a panic attack El, it's been a while since your last one.''

Ellis:'' Leah told how could she, I though I could trust her, how could she''

Jill: ''El she was only trying to help she didn't know what to do, she cares Ellis, she really cares I don't know how you do it with everyone you meet but the minute they meet you, they care you have so many people who care just let them in. I know its hard and will take time but they only want the best''

Ellis:'' I know Jilly, but I wanted a fresh start I didn't want to be known as the girl who has panic attacks, the girl who everyone looks at like she needs help''

Jill: '' I know it can come across as that but we just care, but your not only that Ellis, you are one of the kindest funniest people I have ever met''

Ellis: ''Thanks Jilly, I know you don't see me like that but I feel like everyone looks at me with pity, I mean only Leah knows about my parents''

Jill: ''I can't speak for other people but, yes you have things you don't want people to know but you have so much else going for you, you are insane at football, your random one liners are brilliant, they way you light up when you step onto the pitch, it makes everyone smile.'

Ellis: '' Stop Jilly, you will make me cry, anyway how are you''

Jill: ''I'm good its nice seeing Viv it's been a while, and I can still kick a ball which is always good''

Ellis: ''I mean that is helpful, being able to kick a ball when you play professional football''

Sarina: ''Ellis''

Ellis: 'Crap, Jill I have to go Sarina is calling me''

Jill: ''Ok good luck El call me later yeah''

Ellis: ''Yeah I will by Jilly''

This was it, I was about to find out if I was going to make the squad, I had to prepare for both outcomes I had made it this far and that was an amazing achievement. I started making my way to her office.

Sarina: ''Hi Ellis take a seat, and try and relax okay''

Ellis: '' Okay thank you''

Sarina: ''Ellis you have really impressed both myself, the coaching staff and the rest of the team, your professionalism at your age is impressive and your skills are world class. I wouldn't be able to distinguish you from the rest of the team despite your age you are truly incredible. With a tournament this big comes a lot of pressure and it can be quite overwhelming. I don't know the details but I was informed by your social worker that there may be some concerns over your mental health, which is always our number one priority. So I just want to know how you are feeling about this experience so far and if there is anything we can do to support you as you continue with this.''

Ellis: ''Wa-wa-wait you mean continue as in, carry on being here, as in I have a spot''

Sarina: ''Yes, your skills and what you bring to this team is something that can't be replaced, with this there will be some people who have some things to say there always is when decisions are made. But just know that myself and everyone here supports you, with that we just want to make sure that you are okay so we would like to set up a plan to work with you to make sure it doesn't get to much.''

Ellis: ''Thank you so much, you don't realise how much this means, and thank you for caring but I will be fine''

Sarina: ''I know about your panic attack Leah didn't tell me to hurt you she just thought it was in your best interest for me to know so we can help you''

Ellis: '' Okay, I just need a minute''

Sarina: ''Take all the time you need''

Ellis: '' I don't have panic attacks to often, but its normally when my parents are brought up, they were never really there for me but it just feels like they were taken from me, just when things are changing. I always feel like the odd one out when people talk about their families and out of place. Also sometimes when things get to overwhelming I shut down and it sometimes gets to much.''

Sarina: ''Thank you for sharing I know that must be hard and we are all here for you, I suggest we set up weekly meetings with the councilor just so you have a safe space where you can talk things through also if you are ever feeling overwhelmed just make a sign and you can take a step back. As you know mental health is priority number one.''

Ellis: ''Thank you so much, I really appreciate it and I won't let you down''

Sarina: ''I know you won't thank you''

I was in I made the euro's squad at 17 this was nuts and I didn't feel awful it really felt like she cared, this was going to be a good summer.

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