13 All Night

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Six months have passed by. Six, long, agonizing months! I promised myself to give her that much time before looking for her. As I wanted to try, I looked at her letter and decided not to act like a psycho and let her do things in her own time.  If she wanted me, she would call me, or come back.

Lindi got her tubal transplant, the recovery was gruesome but Harald and I were with her, every step of the way, as we promised. She survived and it took a massive burden off my shoulders.

Two months ago, he got down on one knee and proposed, it was a beautiful private proposal on the beach and she still talks about it all the time.

"Am I even invited to the wedding?" I ask as we are in her mother's house, choosing the sentimental items she is taking with her to the Netherlands.

"Of course you are. You are my sister, remember."

"Sure, sure, sure." Nandi still has yet to call me, I do not know if we ever have a chance of getting back together.

Another six months passed by and now my customers want more of her work. I can not keep delaying, I held an entire gala to promote her, people want her art.

I had my best hackers looking for her, I would have done it but I am clouded, I am not thinking properly, her absence has left me unable to focus.

Lindi is also busy being a duchess to be at my beck and call, it is infuriating but she is so happy and I do not want to ruin it with my sadness. Their honeymoon has been pure bliss for her and she deserves it and more.

"Dr. Steyn asked that you meet him at his winery soon."

"Date?"

"He asked for a meeting after season, when he is not as consumed by his work." I nod before I get back to my laptop. "Thabo asked that I hand this to you."

He hands me a dossier in a red file. "Thank you, Eric. Please close the door." he nods before retreating to his office space.

Written boldly in black Nandi Jola. Paging through, it reveals that she is back home, living with her parents in the Eastern Cape. Attached are pictures of her near her home buying groceries.

She looked happy, in the photograph I am holding, she is talking to someone, she is laughing at what they said. I do not know if I wanted her to be miserable without me but it does hurt seeing her happy without me.

"Eric, I am going to be gone for a few days max, If anyone calls wanting to meet me, tell them I have a throat infection."

"Yes, Ma'am." she may not want to see me, I may not fully be ready to face her but I have to do it. This year-long break of hers has increased the demand for her art making it the perfect time to launder some money.

"I am going to pack, please get me a seat on the next flight to Gqeberha."

"Business or first?"

"Business, it is a short trip."

"Car?"

"Double cab bakkie. Anything else?"

"I will call you." I nod before I make my way to my car.

I am scared about what she may think, maybe she may want nothing to do with me and I would have to deal with my love for her. There has only ever been one person who rejected me and that did not end well, I do not know how to deal with rejection, I have tried to get better to no avail.

After landing and getting the car, I made my way to my hotel, to sleep, I will see her tomorrow, what is one more night?

I do realize that I am avoiding her, which I feel justified in doing considering how I feel toward her. A year ago, I was ready to ask her to be my girlfriend, now I barely knew how she was going to react to seeing me.

In the dossier, her schedule states that she spends Tuesdays at home and so that is where I am headed. I want to call but I also do not want to make her anxious or fearful.

Her family home is modest, to say the least. Looking at it, I wondered if this was the best course of action, was I not too haste? It is too late now as I notice a man approaching the gate.

"Good Day, how may I help you?"

"Hello, I am looking for Nandi Jola."

"And you are?"

"uhm, her boss." a straight smile should sell it and I think it does as he calls her name.

"Baba?" she walks out of the house and comes our way. Her eyes are hard, her eyebrows furrowed and her body tense. She seems angry that I am here, which is understandable, I understand why she would feel that way.

Her father says something but my ears seem not to catch a word of what he says as my entire being responds to her presence. My arms are itching to pull her closer and my skin aching to have hers touch mine, my heart waiting to hear my favourite song; her voice.

"Nkoe." there it is, my name on her tongue even though she spews it laced with venom, it is received by my ears as an antidote to the misery I am in.

"Nandi."

"You should come in for tea, my wife makes the best scones," he says clearly oblivious to the palpable tension between his daughter and her boss.

"She is busy, Baba."

"I will see, Mr Jola, thank you for the kind offer." he nods before going into the house. She walks out of the gate and stands in front of me.

So close yet so much further, I wish I could taste her lips once more and it is at this moment that those lingering tentacles of love want to grab and hold her but she is alien to me.

She is wearing brown leather sandals with a long green skirt, a black Tee with Lizzo on it, there is a stain near the hem, she has a beige cardigan on and her faux locs are in a cute bun, with two strands hanging and a scarf wrapped around them. She has her arms crossed, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, her body screaming her discomfort about the situation.

"I need paintings." Oh God, I wish I did not phrase it that way.

"I do not work for you."

"You signed a contract and just because I gave you an extra long vacation does not mean you are not obligated to fill my gallery with paintings for me to sell."

"So you came here for paintings?" I am confused, what was I supposed to say?

"You wanted space, did you not?!"

"Keep your voice down."

"Nandi, I have spent the last year in agony and just now I realized that I wished you would not stay away from me."

"You know why I stay away."

"I do and I can not promise to not do it again because I know, I will, I also know that I care for you, deeply, more than I have been able to describe."

"You can not keep killing people."

"I can not promise you that, Nandi."

"If you are going to keep killing people then I guess we are done." I could hear the shards of my heart falling from my chest into my stomach.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Your morals do not align with mine and I can not keep seeing you if you are going to keep playing God."

"Nandi?" she is being serious, with no room for discussion or compromise. "Okay. I came here to also drive you..." home, fuck, I can not say that.

"I will take an Uber to the Airport and see you tomorrow at your office."

"I will be at the gallery."

"Even better. Ten pm."

"Okay." a nod from me and she turns to go back into the house, taking my happiness with her.

*************
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