Love Hurts (boyxboy)

Chapter 23: Trust

"He doesn't know we fucked, does he?"

☆

Weeks pass, with Josh busy filling in online forms and sending emails. Finally he sends his last correspondent and breathes a sigh of relief, pulling his glasses from his face, as the apartment door opens, with Peter wearily walking in from his late shift. Josh looks over and smiles. "Hey, I'm finally done, and in time for Simon's birthday. 

Peter lets his bag fall to the floor by the door. "What? Is that tonight? I've got an online game later. I can't miss it."

"Hey, I can go by myself." Josh suggests. He smiles at Peter sweetly, wondering how well it would go down. As a rule, If they ever did go clubbing, Peter would for some reason insist they went together. 

"Can't you just give it a miss Josh? I mean, it's late already." Peter didn't want Josh going out alone. His track record of getting drunk and not remembering his actions was a common occurrence, hence why Peter liked to keep an eye on him if they ever did go out.

Josh pushes himself away from the chair and gets to standing. His body swaggers to Peter in a way which was intended to be cute and persuasive. He takes a hold of Peter's hands in his. "Come on. Let me go. I promise you I will be on my best behaviour. I've not seen Simon for ages. He will be there to look after me...and his friends." 

"Simon, who has just turned 22 and who will be your apparent moral compass for the evening." Peter raises an eyebrow. "Why does that not fill me with confidence?"

Josh drops Peter's hands almost in a strop. "Peter! When will you trust me huh? How are we supposed to even get married, make a commitment if you can't even let me go out by myself?"

Peter looks at Josh deliberating… They had been together for 5 years. Not once in that time had Josh strayed. He had stayed faithful to him. Maybe he needed to realise that Josh wasn't his ex. He wasn't Hansel. "I'm sorry." Peter forces a smile. "You go." He kisses Josh on the cheek, pushing his insecurities down deep into the depths of his stomach. He was trying to not be that guy anymore…

Josh just grins like an excitable school child and hurries to get showered. He was ready to have a good time.

***

An hour later, Josh enters the club. He spots Simon at the bar, doing his usual flirting with the bar staff. He approaches, placing a hand on Simon's shoulder, making him jump slightly. He turns, ready to give whoever it is a mouthful, before he sees Josh grinning at him. "Josh. Hey! Long time no see. I thought you had quit on me." Simon momentarily looks over Josh's shoulder. "Where's Pete?" 

"He's home, it's just me." Josh replies, pulling up a stool next to where Simon is standing. 

"Shit! He let you come out alone?" Simon laughs with surprise. 

"Yeah. As long as you keep an eye on me." Josh says, winking with amusement.

"He doesn't know we fucked, does he?" He says, with a knowing smile. 

"Hey! I didn't know we fucked until you told me." Josh replies laughing back. "But no, he doesn't and don't go telling him otherwise you'll be on the blacklist, along with he who must not be named." The reference Josh had put to his ex boss, Mr Rose.

"Noted, though I've not really heard anything about him since he moved companies 6 months ago." Simon replies, before he grabs his bottle of beer and takes a sip. "So...I heard from Jojo that your Peter popped the question." Simon adds, now choosing to sit alongside Josh at one of the bar stools. 

"Ah, yeah he did." Josh replies. Unable to keep his smile from showing. 

"Let's see the ring then." Simon looks in the direction of Josh's left hand. 

Josh holds up said hand before covering his mouth. "Shit!" He curses. "I must have taken it off when I showered." 

"Oh yeah?" Simon says playfully. "You just wanna be single for a night." 

"No! Honestly!" Josh insists. "I genuinely forgot." 

"Yeah Yeah." Simon pushes Josh's arm in jest, with Josh just looking at his finger where the ring should be. 

He looks up at Simon before turning and looking across the dancefloor. "Where is everyone else?" 

"Out there somewhere." Simon gestures lazily with a hand over his shoulder to the dancefloor. 

Josh looks again out to the throng of people looking hot and sweaty as they seem to bounce in unison to the music. He bites momentarily on his lower lip. "Anyone from work here?" 

"What do you think?" Simon snorts sarcastically. "I can't see Rich really digging this scene. He's straighter than a ruler, with a homophobic mindset to match. Plus, he's up to his armpits in nappies." 

"Nappies?" Josh questions.

"Maria had a kid. "Rupert or some posh name like that." Simon replies. "I guess he is about four months old now. She's still on maternity leave.' 

"They're still together?" Josh says, a little surprised.

"I know right." Simon responds, amused by Josh's air of wonder. "They have nothing nice to say about each other, yet if someone else says a bad word…" 

"Yeah, I remember." Josh laughs, thinking back to when he and Rich were called into Neil's office when Josh apparently bad-mouthed her...he still stands by his words. 

"Abby is currently Maria's replacement. At least until Maria decides whether she wants to come back. She's nice, she looks like an influencer. She is flawless. However...your latest replacement"...

"My latest replacement?" Josh questions. 

"Josh you were a fine bit of eye candy for me but Benji...fuck! He's as hot as hell." 

"Don't tell me you've sampled his goods already." Josh says laughing.

"I fucking wish. But I suspect I'm just missing a pair of tits and a" (whistles), "then I'm sure I'd be in with a chance. But you can't always tell y'know." 

"Stop it Simon." Josh says laughing, pushing Simon in the chest. 

"Hey. You don't know what it's like to yearn for someone you can never have. Do you know how many customer calls I've had to get through with a fucking hard on under my desk because he's chosen to wear a skin tight shirt with his buttons undone halfway down his chest, his tanned skin showing with that gold chain around his neck? No word of a lie Josh, his trousers are so fitted around his crotch I can see his nob just resting on his thigh….fuck... I'm getting hard just thinking about it." Simon looks down at his jeans slowly tenting. He looks at Josh grinning. "Do you fancy…."

"No Simon." Josh says rather firmly.

"Oh well, your loss. There's plenty of people out there who will. It's my birthday after all." He slips off the stool and Josh watches him disappear into the crowd. 

He thinks about what Simon had said.  That he didn't know what it was like to yearn for someone he could never have. Of course he knew. He knew better than most and hated the fact that he still wasn't over it, he still couldn't talk about it. Not even to his friends. He still had unrequited love. He cursed inwardly at how he hoped there would be a small chance he would be here. Just so Josh could see him. Get Neil Rose out of his system one way or another.