Love Hurts (boyxboy)

Chapter 50: Love hurts (final chapter)

"Why me?"

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"Step through the metal detector please." Comes the request, as Josh takes a step forward before exiting the other side. He holds out his arms as he is patted down for any suspected contraband before being allowed to continue. 

The heavy metal door beeps and opens, creating a laboured squeak as Josh takes a step through. There, sitting before him in an unassuming grey tracksuit was Peter. The door closes behind him leaving them alone apart from the obligatory security guard by the door. "Pete." Josh says rather apprehensive. 

"Welcome to my new home.  Take a seat." Peter gestures forward with cuffed hands. "What do you think?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Josh looks around the space. "It looks like I would expect." Josh replies, taking in the white painted breeze block walls and high windows.

"Well I'm a little disappointed to be honest. I mean, I was aiming for hell, but it seems I can't do anything right." He laughs at his own epic fail. He then looks at Josh in wonder. "It's been nearly a year Josh, since I tried to kill myself, six months since being in here. Why? Why are you visiting me now? Finally feeling guilty?"

"No. I don't feel guilty." Josh quickly replies. "I played my part, you're right, but what you did that day was your choice. I tried to talk you out of it."

"Then I ask you again. Why now?" Peter reiterates. 

Josh adjusts himself slightly on the plastic seat before speaking.  "There's been one thing that has been bothering me. I guess it's always been there, since you came back into my life all those years back, but I guess the realisation that you actually were going to die made it more pressing." 

"What is it Josh?"

"Why me? What is it about me that made you do any of it?" 

Peter laughs at the obviousness of the question. "Oh Josh do I need to spell it out for you? I love you. You are the only person, only you. You make me feel special, wanted. I was blessed to have you as a friend. You are my world, you are my first love and you should know better than anyone else how someone cannot get over their first love. If I can't have you I would rather die." 

"Don't say that." Josh says, trying to cut off Peter's words. 

"So you do feel something." Peter says smiling. "Y'know, come to think about it, you never actually told me you loved me. Maybe that's why you're here."

"Peter, you were my best friend at school. I would have had no one if it weren't for you. You don't know how glad I was when you came back into my life, just when I needed you. But even that was manipulated. You altered my fate. Our time together was based on deceit. Our foundations were rotten. You knew that and deep down I knew that too. But now…"

"But now…" Peter says, his gaze looking hopeful.

"I hate you Peter. I hate everything about you. I never want to see you again." With that, Josh gets up to leave. Peter is left speechless, his fixed stare remains on the chair opposite where Josh once sat. He lets a light chuckle leave his lips. 

"Touchè" He says, leaning back in his seat. 

Josh turns around one last time before leaving. "You know, not once have you apologised. Not to me, to Neil, his kids, Jen, to Simon. The only person you have thought about is yourself. You say you want to go to hell, you are already here. You are alive and you will never have me." With that, Josh leaves. The echo of the metal door seemingly much louder this time in the silence. 

"Is everything ok?" Neil asks as he stands outside the walls of the high security prison.

"Yes." Josh says as he takes Neil by the hand. "Let's go home.

THE END 

A massive thank you to anyone who gave their time to reading Love Hurts.

JoJo

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