The Recital of Terrance Reed

Chapter Three

My heart and my head were spinning in circles like a carousel. I couldn't believe what he had just said, mostly because I did not know what to do if Kyle and I became friends. I had all sorts of realizations that I had thought of. What if I wasn't appropriately dressed around him, or what if I embarrassed him by being a friend, or what if I got uncomfortable if he tried introducing me to his other friends? I was not equipped to be friends with someone with an impressive reputation. Mine is already crap, especially hearing what he said before. I just felt discomfort with the idea of being a friend.

I sauntered toward home, wondering whether I should be proud or sad that I had a friend. I did not want another Millie situation. Kyle was more than just a friend to me. He was my crush, and he felt special to me. Sure, Millie did the same, but this feels much different. It was hard to describe the feeling inside me. You can compare it to a flower being watered after a year of drought. He was my rain, and I was the desert flower waiting for water.

I looked up at the sun rays that ran through the swaying leaves. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the beautiful site. It was like looking at a painting that was being painted in front of my eyes. The gentle golden sunlight filtered through the drying leaves. It reminded me of Kyle and his aura and how his electric soul could make me stop and question my reality. He was beautiful and everything I wanted. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then, I continued walking home.

I noticed Father's car was gone when I got close to my house. I moaned, knowing I had to keep Mother company in the kitchen. Father was Mother's life raft. Ever since Mother had a stroke three years, she was terrified that everything she did would cause her to have a stroke again. I don't blame her, but it was draining because she always talked about life. Not good things, always bad things and the terrifying truth of death. Father could handle the topic since he was a doctor, so it was normal. But me? I always had an existential crisis after hanging out with Mother. Sometimes, I would stay up past six am, thinking I would never wake up again if I went to sleep. It scared me. I always was not too fond of that feeling.

I dreaded walking up to the house. I know it was mean to act this way but talking to Mother was emotionally exhausting, and today I did not need more of that. Especially if Kyle was coming over today, it was enough for social interactions.

I walked in, and Mother scurried around the corner once she heard the door closed. "Where have you been?"

"I was walking home," I said, trying to balance on my foot and taking off my shoe.

"Daddy had a shift tonight. He has been getting a lot of them," she mentioned while wobbling toward me. "I think it's best if you stay with me more often."

"I have school, Mother. I can't skip," I protested. She has been asking me more and more about leaving school and watching over her. I always suggested getting a nanny to help, but she refused every time because it reminded her that she was growing old.

When I took my shoes off, Mother took her hand out and expected me to take it. I didn't want to because it meant she would put all her weight on me. Despite her size, she was still heavy. And I had no muscle mass or anything to grasp onto because my body was like a pillow. I took it anyways because I couldn't say no.

"But it isn't like you are missing out anyways," she added, leaning against my body.

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"You don't have friends or anyone whom you need over there. I need you here since your little sister isn't old enough for my care," she laughed, acting as if what she had said wasn't painful to hear.

"Well, that boy I brought over the other day," I mentioned. Coaxing to break the awkwardness. "Kyle seems to start liking me as a friend."

"That crush of yours?"