The Recital of Terrance Reed

Chapter Four

The very next day, I stood at Ms. Hawthorne's door. I started contemplating whether I should walk in or go to lunch. I had no idea if anybody was going to be there or not. I heard voices on the other side, which sounded few and lonesome. I kept moving my hand forward and backwards whenever I wanted to walk in. But my body felt uncomfortable with social interaction. But I had to if I wanted to be friends with Kyle. I needed a reputation and to get better at communicating with others.

So, I lifted my chin and opened the door. Once I did, my heart pounced up and down, and my body shivered. About five people, including Ms. Hawthorne, sat at the desks and talked amongst themselves. When they noticed I was standing at the door, Ms. Hawthorne gasped.

"Well, if you look at that. Mr. Reed decided to join us today. Welcome!"

Dennis turned around and smiled at me. "Wow, I didn't think you would turn up."

The people around Ms. Hawthorne and Dennis were unfamiliar. I had never seen them walking around the school. Ms. Hawthorne started introducing me to each everyone. One girl named Rachel was wearing a dress with flowers all over it, and she had electric blue hair draped over her shoulders. Another girl named Colleen wore all-leather black and had a pixie cut. Ms. Hawthorne asked a guy wearing a dress and makeup for their pronouns, respectfully they/them, and they told me their name was Tyler. And another boy I did not know looked at me and quickly looked away. But he wore a baggy sweater but tight blue jeans, and his auburn hair was thick and curly. Dennis said his name was Artie. And then Dennis introduced himself again.

"All right. I think this turnout is amazing!" Ms. Hawthorne excitedly said while standing up.

Dennis joined after. "Yeah! I am shocked Wallflower Terrance joined us today."

"Actually..." I jumped in, feeling a bit confident. "Can you call me just Terrance?"

Dennis stared at me, and then he smiled. "Yeah. Just Terrance!"

"All right, just Terrance!" Tyler followed.

The group laughed. I stood there, feeling like I should laugh, but for some odd reason, I felt awkward. I wish people called me Terrance. Nothing else. I guess the only person can contact me with nicknames are my family...and Kyle. I blushed, and I forced a smile afterwards. I was looking at the group with my semi-white teeth.

"You know, Terrance, for someone who is a wallflower, you don't seem too awkward to be one, and I am personally one," Colleen commented.

I looked down and started rubbing my arm. "I guess. I just never had the guts to talk to anyone before. Because everyone seems too cool."

"Now your thinking like a wallflower, Just Terrance," Colleen gleefully said.

I never really knew there was a way of adequately acting like a wallflower. I thought you just stood on the side of the walls, looking over the crowd. But I guess I wasn't a total wallflower. Or maybe it was me who never understood how to be one. Nonetheless, I suppose there has to be a fundamental to being one.

"Come sit down, Just Terrance," Tyler asked me, moving away from their seat and offering it to me.

I polity declined, but they insisted. So I sighed, shuffled my feet to Tyler's place and sat down. I placed my backpack on my lap, laid my arms on the top, and then placed my head on my arms.

I stared at the GSA group and started pondering what sexuality they were. I knew Tyler and Dennis were gay, but Artie, Colleen, and Rachel were undecided. I also think they were wondering what I am. Maybe I should play the secretive game and let them wonder. Or perhaps I should tell them since I was there already. It took me much courage for me to come here. And I felt like I still had some confidence left.