LOVE NOT FOUND....

It a YES!! pt5

Its was a new beginning and new step towards the new person of my life. I was really happy by confessing my feelings to him without any kind of questions. Lastly it was not a verbal or talking conversation with him while confessing just my gestures and his eyes met and my heart towards his heart are totally met that day. I was not knowing what to do now. Because once you fall for someone so badly, its never ending. I though it as my first and last confession to him of my own feelings. 

I was badly waiting on messenger, when we will talk now. I texted him," What's your reply for my proposal?". A lot of happiness on my face while chatting with him was totally endless. He texted back," Its a yes from me. i can't tell how much happy i am today and its feel like i should dance. I am waiting a lot when we will meet again. Please tell me when we will meet??:))".Even i was super excited after this and wanted to meet him. I don't remember properly what was a affection i was having for him and i got attracted a lot. As i was young kid totally unknown about the love and his side effects towards the life. As i have just heard that to whom you love, love them unconditionally and love them just the way are and don't try to change them as per your conditions. 

I think these terms were totally right, but i understood this after long year of time. shshhh!!!!

Day by day i got to learn a lot about him. He was kind of different boy from others, he was smart, well natured, aggressive as well and even he was my angry bird when needed. i loved that!! Whenever he gets angry on me, i teased him with angry bird game character always a nose red while angry hahaha!! I still miss it!! As we grow in love, the first think we create is the attachment from my way of understanding. Because if we separated  at the end, only thing will last long is the attachment we have. 

the staring of him towards me was my all time favorite. I never get tired looking at him and not even him. Even my legs got hurt while standing for so long outside to watch him i was mad! lol he was always there for me whenever i wanted him to see. When i wanted to see him i used to text him ,"please come outside of the house i m here!!" then he used to stand his terrace and i am as always at my balcony. We talk a lot just by looking at each other. And then we discuss it on the messenger when we get time for chatting. Days where passing and i was growing towards my high school life. 

As i think its not good, to have a lot of excitement for what you have because it can turn into the harsh reality!!!

I was now above 16 yr old and a high schooler. I was now going study the hard field of school. I was now getting the lots of questions in my mind again!! i was such a overthinker and confused person at that time. Now i was in 11 grade of my school life and even a science student. As, aarav was now a engineering student and i was still the school going girl. Totally we were from the different world. I was little fool and he was a extra smart boy. Our families were known to each other but they never talk. Finally i transfer to new school for my science studies and it was being tough for me day by day. 

Now we both have fixed time to see each other, so that incase we won't able to chat atleast we can see each other. At evening i used to do work outside in my balcony so that i can see him at our fixed time. I always wait for his smile while waiting  for him. I used to go by my school van to school and what a good fortune i have .. guess what!!? the school van used to pass by aarav's house. Even my school going time and his college bus time were almost same, he used to stand near his bus point and my school van were on the same point. So my morning used to start with him while going to school. This became my daily routine till i made a silly mistake once again!! aaah what the hell ? i am !!

I was never this before. Because i was always a good kid of parents and studious child. Due to distractions and thoughts of hiren again came to me like depression for a while! I just started my school it was just one month with aarav and thoughts of distraction made me think of leaving him!! But this was not the way to find out for the solution . So i discussed with him and he just explained me so well but i didn't got it. He told me everything will be science studies are not always easy and you have to pull yourself! I was such a fuss for a moment i thought i will not able to study well and i will be failing or scoring less. but aarav was never the reason of my distractions but he was my always strength to do something by my own. But something was disturbing me from inside so i found a solution for it and i asked aarav , can we have the relationship after my school gets over and i will be at college so we will able to make it. After telling him he didn't wanted this to be, he was bit angry with my decisions and he told me, " why i made you girlfriend now? because i like you not as friend but my gf so please don't change yourself now". I was totally lost for a while and i told him ,"can't u wait for me ? we will be there for each others like a friend but relationship i cannot continue now its too hard for me!!"

He was angry on me ,"if this things make you hard to live with me how can make your parents accept me at the end and how will you take stand for me tell me ? ! you have to b strong and at last its your decision ". I did the same what my mind was running at that situation! I said "NO". Let's be good and be together for a while till i complete my school". He said, "i will not able to talk to u in that way ok please don't make me sad please dear! but its you decision finally what i will say!! but i will block you because you broke my heart!.. What u are thinking of  i will wait for more 2 yrs and even i waited for already 1 yr when you were with other person but i still have feeling for you and even i will not have such feeling for anybody okay .. u just go were you wanted and keep studying ! i am the reason of your distractions as you said!. okay now i will be alone bye now.. don't try to contact me or send messages okay ..stay away have a good life. You will not believe but i had already bought you the gift for your birthday now what i will do with it, i will throw it now! he ended the chat and even block my contact on messenger as he said so i could not send him the messages.

i was such a dumb. As from my experiences one thing goes the other is linked with it already. Just like my misfortune. Why i am so impossible always!? But leaving made me the real distraction now and my real medicine of stress as also left me . i was much sure what was going on with me. i was all alone because i had not discussed my this relationship with anyone. i was always stressed. So i decided to contact his friend to contact aarav indirectly .His friend was good he help me to talk to aarav back and even aarav unblocked me soon after separation. Even he was sad and he used reply only yes ... no.... hmm okay !!! good.. Because he was heartbroken.. But after few days we started talking normally and he used to share his feeling of sadness through sending me songs. Because he was not able to express through words. 

Big trouble was going to come because now it was my birthday to come and aarav had not thrown my birthday gift.

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to be continued.....