LOVE NOT FOUND....

The letters pt9

How you will react when your own parents slap you before listening to you? It creates a huge trauma in your life. These wounds can't be healed soon. The day I got slapped was my birthday and the next day I had decided to celebrate it with my friends and aarav as well. But all went wrong. The storm hit the coast of my heart before reaching the happiness and love. I cried the whole night and woke for school the next day because it was exam next day. I don't want to give that exam but I have to tolerate those things. 

Parents are your biggest support system I heard that before and even thet are the demotivator of your decision as well. Why parents never think about their children why they taking such steps and why they have to do such things? I was all depressed the next day. I went to van and how should I inform aarav about all these happened? I was totally became a overthinker because I think I am made for it only. Aahahh! 

I went school told my friends what happened last night and the celebration was all cancel. I never thought my birthday would be like this ever after. They always gave me sympathy for my situation. I told one of my friend to call aarav and let him all about my situation and tell him to not to come near my house now for few more days. I will soon contact him when it will be possible for me. I was totally sad from situation in those days. Everyday without him was so heavy for me. Sometimes I cry alone in washroom so anyone could not know about those things. I was so tired of my thoughts and mentally ill due to thinking a lot about him. I was in vain of thinking what to now ? Is these relationship worth it? Or i am the only one who is suffering? What about him and his thoughts? What should I do now ? I am totally reckless. 

Life was never so hard untill I had these things. Why love is so hard? Damn it. 

Why why why? Why it's me always.. God can you please tell me.!

Days were going and it's was now a friendship day. From me and aarav started knowing each other was the bond of friendship only? I missed him so much. I was not able to meet him or able to see him in last 10 days. These days were so fast. I had bought a good friend ship band for him but I told my friend to give him and even i wrote a hige letter of my own words and feelings to let him know. What exactly your Kia is going through this days ? Even though she loves you from all her heart. But just wait for few more months or days , we will meet soon. From my letter atleast he would able to get me. I tried to cover every single moment of ours from day one to day last.

It's was my first ever letter to him of almost 2pages. I was even smiling while writing and also tear felt feeling. My friend gave it to him while calling him and told him to take it. He took it and hoping he would also understand my situation. Days were passing soon. Even a season of my favourite monsoon went to fast with my sadness. I always think about him even in class room while in break time and also at my home during studying. Now I could realise the patience and understanding between love relationship is what and how it is felt? Even this long distance of time made me think and realise the importance of him and his feelings and even my self as well.

 In those days my parents where behaving totally opposite to my moves. They don't like what I like to tell them.They don't even let me go anywhere. They even stop me watching serial related to love or love marriage. Why such mediocre mind they have.? Even they always oppose to such love stories and don't le me see or interrupt. Life has become cold mess. How could they change a lot? What a narrow minded people in such a modern world. Aash! My mom always tonted me for what I had done to them but never tried to understand me what I was going through. Atleast I got the reality of what I was doing and also the outcome which I was going to face in near future. They don't let me stand outside for a minute because they think I will see him or something related to him . Even they told me take oath for, i will not be doing this further and i will not do such love relationship with any one. Why these Indian parents do this to our girl child? I was not hurt from my dad slapped me that day but from this mind set to not to take any decision of these type thing of your own,only your parents can do it. Such a unanswered question! 

I was never so far and not close to him but I could even feel his sense of love. Finally there was a time I got to see him after 4 months near my house. He was far but I felt a little relief in my heart. It just like ... God thank you for this and I don't want anything else.!! He was so far but his eyes can be felt to me. After few one day I was able to call him because my parents went out for an hour. I tried with my whole guts and will power to call him he picked and i told him" did you remember me ? He told me "how could I forget you? how could you stay away from me without even contacting me not a single day. I was really hurt. I missed you a lot dear. Why didn't you tried? I was totally broken from inside when j knew it . I know you are hurt. But how could we stay in such way without contacting or knowing about each other. Please always try to be in touch by anyone or atleast have guts from now on. Please be brave atleast for our self. Try to take stand. I was amazed by his words and even i got strength as well. 

He was flying a kite that time because it was a month left for the festival to come and he love to fly it . He had very much craze of flying kites. We talked for 10 mins ! We shared our feelings of these four months apart. He fulfilled mg wished what I had told him . I like monsoon season for getting a rain shower on my birthday. I was not able to complete it but he did it. When you fall for someone that person wishes will become your wishes. He was almost in rain shower for an hour and thinking about me. I was so jealous of him of being alone at the rain shower. Hahaha I m so mean for it. !! I promise him to get back at messenger soon. After almost of 5 months i finally got back to messenger which I used from hiding it. Now aarav birthday was near to come home this year went to unwantedly. Last year I gifted him mg feelings and now this year was totally strange. Not able to see him and not able to meet him.

 At that time one of our friend introduced use to korean dramas. Firstly we were not interested to look at it. But I never seen such dramas. But she insisted us to see because at that it was airing in hindi dubbed. I started watching it. From first episode I got it as my favourite. I neve thought of soldiers to be so handsome with broad shoulders and insane height with that glass skin of Koreans. I never knew about the Korean in those days. I started loving those serial which were called kdramas . Even i used to watch it's repeat telecast as well. I was so addicted after the ending of the drama i searched all about it on internet. It's was my first ever kdrama which was descendants of the sun. A doctor and soldiers relationship was properly explained in it. I fell for it.  But from these kdrama I got idea of getting a great gift for him . Korean soldier have necklace of chain during their military services which they wear. I wan really the same as shown in the kdrama but it was not possible to get it same . So I decided to get a A name shape chain for him of silver color. Which I told my friend to bring me for him? AS USUAL we used to celebrate or give gift each other not on the particular birth date but afte the day before or the day after

 We were so weird but we were meant to each other. As one day before the birthday i called him near my school as I messaged him already to come at particular time so I can give him his gift and a letter for birthday and even 1 year of our togetherness. I was happy to look at him. He was there before the time. I gave him my book inside it was gift and a letter as well. Few students were looking at us but I ignored them and wished him advancely. I can feel his smile. Even he was happy to meet me. I was little shivering due to awkwardness in public. But I tried my best. 

He got his gift and next day he showed up me too. It was a function at relatives house that day so no one was near my house at that time. He wore it and even i wished him as well. It's was very memorable moments for me. 

This is how I generated a lot of feelings for him now and made myself accept it that he is the only I will able to love. It's true even if you fall apart or made distance but attachment stays with you always. I always root for him whenever I thinks about him and for his well future. Life was tough but due to his presence it made me strong day by day. I was so mad for him in those time I could not explain it. 

Keep reading 😁!