Big Problems (Jonuardo AU)

Today on Dr. Phil: A Liar!

[A/N: Please don't comment any sexual/inappropriate stuff (that's what she said, ect.), since it makes me sort of uncomfortable. Thanks, and enjoy!]

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Eduardo was gone.

Jon wasn't sure whether his new friend was hiding or had vanished into thin air, but either way, the coast was clear. The tiny clearing surrounding the cavern was pretty much empty, with the exception of Jon, Mark, and Laurel.

Laurel dropped her stick. "Guess it was nobody," she agreed. "But, I heard talking. What was that all about?" And here was when the lying came in. Jon hated to do so, but he didn't want any more problems for today.

"Well, you see... I'm writing a book, and, well, the forest... it helps me to think. So, sometimes I, like, do dialogue... you know, out loud. It helps me to figure out, um, how it sounds, so that it sounds good."

They're not going to believe me, dammit.

Mark looked suspicious, but if Laurel was as well, she didn't show it. "Makes sense," she shrugged. "Now come on. I've been running around in heels through dirt all morning and I have the urge to cut my feet off."

"Why'd you wear heels in the woods in the first place?" Mark asked.

"Well sorry if I want to look pretty. Besides, they're useful."

"In what way are those frilly pink heels 'useful?'"

The two started bickering, much to Jon's dismay. A sound from the trees broke his focus, and he went to investigate. The other two didn't notice.

At first, he didn't see anything. But it wasn't until another rustle that he looked up to see familiar green eyes.

Eduardo was sitting with his knees pressed up against himself, trying to make himself hidden. The position looked rather uncomfortable, but it didn't bother the giant too much.

"What are you doing?" Jon asked in a loud whisper to make sure he was heard.

"I'm sorry," Eduardo responded as quietly as he could. "I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, this is easier than having to explain... well, you."

"Explain what now?"

Laurel had come up from behind him. And before Jon could get another word out, she'd already caught sight of Eduardo. There was a heavy silence, before Laurel started screaming.

"Oh, shit!" Jon cursed, before trying to console the blue-haired girl.

"Don't worry! It's okay!"

"OKAY?! What the fuck is- how?! What is going on here?"

Once the smaller man was able to get Laurel to stop screaming, he explained pretty much everything that happened, starting with hearing the chains yesterday to getting out of the cave around 20 minutes ago.

"So that whole "writing a book" thing was bullshit?" Laurel asked once he was done. Not waiting for an answer, she walked up to Eduardo, and he gave a slight wave.

"So, uh, it's nice to meet you. I'm Laurel."

"My name is Eduardo."

"So, if you don't mind me asking-" she raised her voice yet again- "HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

Eduardo let out a small chuckle at Laurel's... enthusiasm, before his expression became solemn. "It was part of some retarded experiment. I don't remember all the details, since it was a long time ago, but these two guys were pretty much using me as some sort of lab rat."

"They left him in the cave and hurt him. A lot," Jon added, and the bigger man nodded.

Hearing enough of the explanation to convince herself that she wasn't dreaming, Laurel told Jon that they needed to get back. She'd promised Mark that she'd get Jon then follow him back. "Poor guy's probably worried sick," Jon commented.

"He seems like he gets worried about everything," Eduardo added, and shockingly, Laurel laughed and agreed.

"See you later, Eddie!" the smaller man chirped, and Eduardo wished him goodbye.

When they were halfway back, Laurel decided to break the silence. "I never knew you were into taller guys," she joked. Jon's face turned red.

"It's not like that!" he told her, but Laurel was already on a roll.

"Oh, Jonny's got a big crush! And when I say big, I mean literally! So tell me, when's the wedding?"

"Laurel, stop! He's just my friend!"

"That's what they all say!"

When Jon finally got the blue-head to stop teasing him, he asked her not to tell Mark. The less people who knew about the whole situation, the better.

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I won't tell anyone you don't want me to."

Jon couldn't help but smile. He's always seen Laurel as a cool lesbian older sister, and he knew he could trust her.
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Exasperated, the assistant laid down on his cot.

His whole job was exhausting and dangerous. Always experiments and torturing other things that couldn't even be described as human. Not anymore.

To make matters worse, his "boss" seemed insane, threatening him if his assistant messed the slightest thing up, all with a wide smile. He hated every part of it. He wished he could leave. In fact, he wished he'd never gotten into this whole mess.

But that would only get him killed.

A stinging, itching feeling in his face snapped him out of his thoughts. It was his goddamned eyepatch. He took it off and threw it onto the ground. He only wore the thing because the boss thought the scar under was gross, even though the other man assumed he'd dealt with more disturbing things. It didn't affect his assistant's vision much, since he didn't even have his eye there anymore, and the scarring skin had decided to grow over the socket. Now that he thought about it, it was disgusting. He was disgusting.

Maybe I should just kill myself here and now. Just to get this nonsense over with.

No, I'll find a way out of this somehow.

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[A/N: I know this chapter is short, and I promise I'll make the next one longer. Glad you enjoyed it!]