No Homo (An Ianthony Fanfic)

Chap 11: The Diary Again

~Anthony's POV~

As soon as I reach the apartment I strip down to my boxers and lie down in my bed. I'm too much of a mess right now to think clearly. When I was with Ian, I wasn't really thinking. There was no need. I was happy...and that's all that mattered at the time. But now, now that I'm alone with nothing to accompany me but my thoughts (and my cat!) I have too much to go through.

Until now, I hadn't bothered considering the graveness of my feelings for Ian. Let's start from the beginning.

I was engaged to a girl I loved before we broke up which shattered me but I gradually recovered. I needed emotional support. Ian helped me through it. Then I was too busy to spend quality time with my best friend. I missed him a lot without realising it. When we finally had a chance to relax with each, I started feeling attracted to him and noticed the tiny details about him which was weird. I ruled it off as bromance. Then I had a terrible dream where he died (almost) which was the exact moment that I became sure of my love for him. Now there's a slight chance that he may know about it. I have two options:

1. Confess
- he loves me too and we can be a couple and live happily ever after
- he won't love me back the way I want him to but he'll accept me and all would be well
- he won't love me back and get weirded out and our friendship would be ruined and Smosh would have to end and I would have lost my passion AND my love (I get anxious at this thought)

2. Keep it a secret until the time is right (which could be never)
- there may be a few awkward moments here and there like me getting an unwanted boner at the sight of his shirtless body during a shoot but that's not such a big deal
- I will be frustrated almost always and would have to deal with girls flirting with him but stay quiet about my feelings and I may get panic attacks thinking about all that we could've been but aren't.

After a lot of deliberation, I finally decided to not tell him because the worst case scenario was me going insane. But atleast... I'd still have my Ian.

~Ian's POV~

I wake up feeling the most refreshed than I have in some time. Now that's what I call a sound sleep. I glance at the digital clock near my bed - 1.13 pm. Woah! I didn't realise I was asleep for THAT long. My stomach growls loudly and I realise I haven't eaten pretty much anything since morning except for a crappy airplane sandwich. I stretch - making porn star noises (seriously does anyone else do that??) - and make my way to the kitchen. After having a satisfactory lunch I decide to take a shower because why the hell not?!

०After the shower०

Fuck yeah! Good decision Ian. I feel great! I unpack my little blue suitcase to take out my favourite shirt - a grey one with dinosaur prints. But then I see it. The diary. Anthony's diary. A frown replaces the smile on my face. I had forgotten that I kept it. I should return it to him. I don't even want to read it now. But a small part of me is curious. Curious to know what else Anthony has been hiding from me.

Don't do it you asshole! B-but... There's a reason he's been hiding it. He shares almost everything with you. Can't you respect his privacy for once?! Oh fuck you! I deserve to know what's been bothering him. He's my best fucking friend! Wait...that sounded wrong...very wrong...I cringe as my imagination gets to work.

Besides, what Anthony doesn't know won't kill him. Right?

A/N
Do you guys have any suggestions for what else Anthony could have written in the diary? I'd really appreciate it and don't worry I'll give the credit to you :)
I have thought of some things like getting the email from Madame Tussauds and so on.

Thanks again for reading! I hope you're enjoying ^-^ Byee!