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SEOUL, 1997
The very first time I laid my eyes on Sim Jaeyun was in the quiet confines of a church. As I made my way to my usual spot at the back of the pew, my attention was drawn to a figure seated right at the front. It'shim. Before he appeared out of nowhere, I would always be sitting alone, surrounded by the blue stained-glass windows with white and grey clouds and the yellow sun. The colourful shadows of the windows would dance across the walls and floor, casting a serene blue glow that made me feel as though I were submerged in the depths of the ocean. But now, he was here, like a beacon of light amidst the shadows. As he sat at the front of the church, the vibrant hues of the stained-glass seemed to part around him, as if they didn't dare touch him. I couldn't help but wonder what brought him here.
As I watched him, it dawned on me that he never prayed. Instead, he sat motionless, his eyes transfixed on the statue of the crucified Jesus on the wooden cross. The statue, though old and weathered, exuded an otherworldly beauty that seemed to captivate him. I couldn't help but wonder what thoughts were running through his mind, what emotions he was feeling as he sat in silence.
In those early days, his name eluded me. All I could recall was the way his fluffy golden hair cascaded around his face, his piercing brown eyes that seemed to hold a world of secrets, and his preference for stark black attire, even on the hottest days of summer. Despite his striking appearance, his face remained impassive, as if he had never learned how to smile. I don't think I ever saw him smile. Instead, he would fixate on the statue with an unrelenting glare.
I couldn't help but wonder what the statue had done to him to make him look so angry. Was he seeking answers to questions that plagued him? Or was he simply seeking solace in the peaceful surroundings of the church? Whatever it was, I couldn't deny the fact that there was something about him that drew me in. Every time I see him, he resembled a sad, lonely angel, lost in a world that he didn't quite belong to.
This was a familiar scene - I would sit there, lost in my own thoughts, my gaze fixated on him. Time seemed to slip away, and I was so lost in my reverie that I forgot where I was. So, when he suddenly got up from his seat, I was caught off guard. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and bowed my head, as if I had been praying all along. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he walked past me, and I could feel his gaze linger on me for a moment before he made his way towards the door. I opened my eyes just in time to see the door closed shut with a creaking thud that echoed through the empty church. I flinched, startled by the sudden sound.
It was a peaceful moment, but something about it made my stomach churn, like a swirling tornado storming in my soul and destroying everything in its path. I didn't like it. There was a sense of unease that lingered in the air, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
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