The Blind Eye - Kakashi Hatake (Reposted)

Grief

The blade sliced through my hair. Rin was evening out my botched hair job. I had a silent tear going down my face. Kyo and Masaki died. Yes, it was in the most honorable way a shinobi could go out, fighting over enemy lines, but they still died. I left my comrades to die in the Land of Earth.

I sat down in the inn, staring at my hands. There was so much blood on them. I ran into the bathroom, scrubbing with all my might. I couldn't get it off. It wouldn't leave me alone. The blood of the man taunted me. I killed a man. That would stay with me for the rest of my life.

Arms grabbed my hands, forcing me to stop scrubbing them. It was Kyo. It was one of our first B-Rank missions, and even though we were genin we were allowed to take them due to our skill level. Kyo forced me out of the bathroom, sitting me on one of the beds. Kushina-Sensei was passed out on it, with Masaki resting on the other bed.

"You aren't a monster. We're shinobi, we're doing our jobs by killing." Masaki said, getting up and sitting next to me, throwing his arm over my shoulder. He was wrong. I was a monster. How could anyone kill without hesitation or regret and not be a monster? Kyo and Masaki kept reassuring me that I didn't do anything wrong and that I was defending myself. Little did I know how this experience would shape my future.

I stood up from the ground. I ran to my house. I sat in my room, staring at all the stuff that Kyo and Masaki had given me over the two years we had been on a team. The painting of our team picture that Masaki made. The friendship bracelet that Kyo made. The eyeliner that Kyo suggested I wear. My katana that Masaki bought when I made Jōnin. The countless necklaces and earrings that they had bought me. I also thought back to the stuff I gave them. The countless flower crowns and special hair ties for good luck. The matching necklaces that I gave them when they started dating.

I longed for the feeling of being cared for by my teammates like a child. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced since my Grandma was alive, but even then, her treatment of me lacked the same fondness. Unlike my Grandma, Masaki and Kyo didn't have any knowledge or interest in the "Uchiha Status and Pride". This made me feel sad because even if they managed to survive, being in a gay relationship was considered taboo in high-ranking clans such as the Uchiha and Hyūga. Masaki, being a branch member, would have faced harsher consequences from his clan if his relationship was discovered.

I had also met their parents. Kyo's were civilians who worked in the hospital, performing basic services that didn't require Medical Ninjutsu. That was how he had gotten into medicine, wanting to help people. He wanted to be the strongest Medic in the Village, as we hadn't had a strong medic since Tsunade-sama left the village and abandoned the shinobi life. Masaki's parents were very different. They had the same bright energy, and no stick-up-the-ass behavior that you would expect from a Hyūga, but they had this aura of elegance that just came naturally. Masaki's brother, Naoki, was a completely different story. He acted exactly like a Hyūga, sticking up the ass, and hating every main family member. He also hated me, most likely because I was so much younger than him and was his superior. He never passed the Chūnin Exams, so he was a Genin still. He is fixated on trying to prove himself, even though he lacks all the skills that a good Leaf Shinobi should have.

Kyo and Masaki's funeral was combined, as requested by Masaki and Kyo's parents. They knew their sons were dating and had met many times before this. It was just everyone else who didn't know. Their funeral was large, filled with friends and family. I almost couldn't come, but I had to for them. The entire Hyūga clan was gathered, along with a large amount of the Hospital staff, only some who couldn't arrive due to needing to be on call. The secret stayed.

We had gathered at the KIA stone to witness the names being etched onto it. Adjacent to the stone were their grave markers, just as they had been side by side in life. They were two halves of the same soul, destined to be together forever. Like an ancient couple, they would never depart from each other's side.

One week after the funeral, the anniversary of our passing of the Chūnin Exams, I went to the Yamanaka Flower shop. I requested to get two hyacinths, one for each friend. I set the flowers on their empty graves, waiting for a call to go on a mission. I shouldn't have gone on that mission.