I Am Not In Love [Zarry Stylik AU]©️

Don't you know by now? I love you

Z,

1 year later

"Now, you have to promise me, you'll behave."

Stomper looked at me with his tongue out panting.

"It's your first time here, alone. No chewing. No howling. No running around. Your toys are right there. Don't eat my pillows either." He barked at me, and I crouched at his level, scratching his head. "I'm going to be mad at you if you do."

The dog entered my space poking his nose into my face and trying to lick me. I'm going out on a limb saying I was his favourite person now and Harry was just...some guy.

Whenever I came around Stomper would bolt towards me wagging his tail and barking at me. He was a lovely dog that had made space in my heart. He was going to stay at my flat tonight as I had prepared a special anniversary present for Harry; I had walked him plenty, left a bowl full of food and given him all the treats so he'd be good by himself.

Harry and I have been together for a full year now - something that I thought was virtually impossible - for me, at least. Of course, it wasn't exactly easy, I still had some sharp edges from being 1) in a toxic relationship for so long and 2) being single for so long. We had a lot of steps to conquer.

Jealousy was one of them. Harry was extremely jealous of me, perhaps with a hint of insecurity having in mind what I had shared on our first date. I deleted the apps, the old contacts, and connections to assure him I was his, but every time we bumped into an old...fling, Harry would squeeze my hand tighter. I couldn't be upset at that, I understood his jealousy, all I could do was stand at his side and kiss him. I had moments of jealousy as well, whenever I saw those women swooning over him. I wanted him all to myself.

We argued like any other couple, of course. And I quickly understood an angry Harry was a scary Harry. I can curse anyone up and down, then leave, but Harry will scream at me until he's red in the face and will not let the issue die. It was...scary to see someone with such a loving face, be so angry.

And it was a turn-on as well.

No matter how intense, we would never go to bed angry, even if we weren't sleeping together. One of us would always bend the knee and try to talk, fix things, and just fall into one another. We didn't like to see that ugly face of whatever emotion wrestled inside of us and we would make sure it would be gone as soon as possible.

When it came to demonstrations of affection, Harry and I agreed on pretty much no PDAs. Meaning, our affection was between us; holding hands, kissing, touching hair or grabbing the waist, which was for us. In public we walked side by side, some people said we would even mirror one another in our steps or gestures, but nothing outside of that. It was fun giving the people nothing but letting them guess what it was like between us in four walls.

House habits were hard to break as well. I was used to sleeping alone, having my own space and my things. I didn't mean I was a bad host, or I didn't prepare anything for when Harry came, but...my space was mine now I had to share it. We had traded keys, so I had access to Harry's flat and he had to mine whenever we wanted. He was used to having people around, but I wasn't, so that was a challenge. I had to make space for him. A bigger closet, more drawers, more space in the cabinets for the things he loved and, of course, a corner for Stomper.

We weren't living together, but we'd spent time driving back and forth between our flats. Harry understood that, because my flat was closest to The Box I'd want to go straight there at 04h00am, instead of driving across the city to his. So, we'd find a way to squeeze in diners, brunches, and breakfast on weekdays when we worked and just love one another on the weekends at his flat.