𝖿rіᥱᥒძs │sᥱᥙᥒgіᥒ

8.

When Jeongin opened his eyes for the second time today and looked over at the same clock he had looked at earlier that day, he was relieved that he had only been asleep for a few hours.

He pulled his face away from his arm, where it had been pressed against the pale skin, and looked at the marks that had formed from his cheek and hair. He whipped the sticky trail of drool off the corner of his lips and sat up in his bed.

It took him a few minutes of just sitting in the middle of his bed, his back slouched with his eyes still closed and a pout on his lips, before his brain could make out the sound of the TV playing in his living room.

'Oh fuck' he had completely forgotten about his best friend and the things that had happened earlier in the day. There was an immediate pressure in his head at the sudden reminder of his friend, and he let his body fall back into the sheets on his mattress.

His stomach filled with guilt, and his eyes squeezed shut as he struggled to catch his breath. How was he supposed to ever face the older man again?

He was scared; he didn't know what was going to happen to his friendship. Surely it wouldn't end over something so small, but was it really small at all? It didn't feel small to Jeongin.

Jeongin had unknowingly started crying, and he didn't realize it until he threw his arm over his face and could feel the tears on the skin of his forearm. He moved his hands to his face and whipped it dry, hoping the tears he could now feel in his eyes would not fall.

He felt so disgusted with himself. Seungmin was his best friend. How could he do something like that? He sat up again and scooted closer to the edge of his bed. When he stood up, he lifted his arms above his head and stretched until one of his elbows popped.

He went over to his closet and snatched a random pair of clothes from the hangers. He needed a shower. He needed to clean himself up from any leftover cum on his body.

He knew Seungmin was in his living room, and the hallway was facing where Seungmin would be sitting, so he had to be extremely careful when he opened his bedroom door not to make any sounds.

When his door was cracked just enough for him to be able to see where Seungmin was sitting and make sure he was still watching TV, he pushed the door open a little more so that he could slip out and bolted towards his bathroom.

Once he was inside, he didn't waste a second before slamming the door shut. He let his head fall against the door but was careful not to make a loud noise. He pulled himself away from the door after taking a moment to just breathe and started to strip himself of all the clothes he was wearing.

Jeongin seemed to be taking a lot of showers for the wrong reasons, but what was he supposed to do? Walk around with dried and crusty cum stuck to his skin? yeah, no.

He didn't bother waiting for the water to heat up or even turn it on before he got in the shower and closed himself in. He could faintly smell his coconut-scented soaps as he turned the water on, and it fell through his hair and down his shoulders.

His eyes closed, remembering how often he would be cuddled up in Seungmin's arms trying to fall asleep, and the older man would smell his hair while rubbing the tips of his fingers along any skin of Jeongin's that was exposed. The touch was light, and Seungmin's skin was soft, leaving a trail of goosebumps as evidence of the action.

Would they still be able to do that? Jeongin didn't know. Seungmin had no idea what Jeongin had done, and it would be easy to act like nothing happened, except it wasn't easy.

Jeongin had so many feelings for the older man, some of which he had known himself to have and others that he was discovering through things less than holy. He wanted so desperately to shrug his feelings off as only being sexually attracted to his friend, but he knew that wasn't true.

Maybe at first that's what he believed, but the more he thinks of Seungmin and all the things they had done together, all the feelings that he thought were pointed at the older man as being just friends and just everything about Seungmin.

He didn't believe it was only sexual attraction, which is why he couldn't act like nothing happened and why he couldn't get the pressure in his head to go away.

A chill shot through his body as the cold water left no patch of skin dry. His hair lay flat against his forehead, not helping to shield his face from the water. He reached out and turned the water from cold to hot, letting out a heavy breath.

He immediately felt the shift in temperature; it was only slightly comforting, but he wasn't there for comfort; he was there to clean his body of anything left over from his disgusting actions.

He put soap on his cloth and spent longer than he had to trying to get the soap to form bubbles. When his inner child was satisfied, he brought the cloth up to his stomach and thighs, where he felt dried cum, and started scrubbing his skin.

And if he scrubbed until his skin was red and irritated, just trying to make himself feel less disgusting, that was for him to know.

When he deemed himself clean enough, he rinsed his skin of soap and took a few minutes to just let the water hit his face before he stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel to dry himself.

The whole time he was drying himself and putting his clothes on, he couldn't seem to break himself out of a somewhat dissociative state, and when he was finally done, he just stood there until he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Jeongin, are you okay? You've been in there for a while."

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