The Other Side

17

Cévon P.O.V
I took a sip of my sprite pulling up to the mall with Nori and Itrez in the car before parking up and getting out. We walked I to the building together as they bickered and made jokes with eachother while fighting.

"Can you two behave?" I asked them annoyed. I had a lot on my mind today and I wasn't in the mood for no dumb shít today. I was going through a bunch of emotions. It's been a few weeks since he gave me he's fake contrary to popular belief I didn't ghost Cordell at all. I mena i ah entonces talked to him today, but that's just because he didn't answer when I called him earlier. That's besides the point though. He had gave me head quite a few times and I thought about the fact that his birthday was coming up in about a week.

The last time he gave me head he got a little close to...yea, and I honestly liked it. Now I had watched some gay porn and I wanted more...

I just wanted to try it. I know I swore that I would never let that man fuck me, but when we're around each other he just makes me feel different. I really like that nigga me I wanted to do something for his birthday.

I hope he liked it. It's a whole week away and I'm already feeling like I wanna bitch out. I mens i don't I really care about how long we've been "not single" I'm grown and can fuck who I want. I never really waited with females when I wanted to have sex and they didn't either. Then what he said about forgetting genders and just doing what feels right I feel like if I wanna fuck him i should. I never thought I would see the day, but that nigga makes me wants more.

When I watched porn the nigga taking the dick looked like he was having a good ass time and he liked it. I guess since wit us I'm the "girl" imma be the one taking dick. That sounds crazy as fuck to think about.

I don't think I can do this.

"Cev, whatchu thinking about that got you being all meaner than normal and quiet and shit? What's the matter?" Nori asked me as I shook my head.

"Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it," I told her as we walked into a jewelry store.

"Come oooon you can tell me Cev. I won't tell anyone. Not even Itrez. Look at him over there looking for a ring, just tell me," she spoke making me sigh.

"I'm thinking about having sex with Cordell, but I'm bitching out already. I wanted to do something for his birthday and what's better than better sex? I'm not worried about it being soon cause we been knowing each other for a long ass time and I've fucked girls in a shorter amount of time. I'm worried about him fucking me. Like am I really ready to take dick? Just saying that shit makes me feel crazy because what the fuck...I'm really out here wanting another man to stick his dick in me. I've only loved girls my whole life and now this just comes in and I start acting like a bitch and he knows it too! Like why can't I fuck him? Why do I have to be the one to get fucked?" I ranted sighing making Nori look at me.

"Well I mean if that's really how you feel about it then don't do it. Like if it's that much to think about and if it's weighing on you like that then just don't do and do something else for his birthday. It's no rush so just go at yo own pace and I know he's not gone care either way according to how he be treating you and shit," she spoke making me sigh.

"But I wanna try it though...," I mumbled making her chuckle.

"Then do it Cev. You a grown ass man it's he's it's different this time, but you in control of yo body and it's just sex. Do you think y'all gone be together for a while? Because it's gonna happen at some point and that should be whenever you are ready. If you wanna do it then I'll help you and shit, but if you don't then just like give him head or something and something else for a present," she spoke making me look at her.