ENSHROUDED

02

She wanted the ground she was on to open so it will swallow her whole and despite all that was happening around her, she couldn't even sit nor walked out of the hall. Jaafar was looking directly into her eyes, the kind of look that sent a shiver down her spine. The look he sent her was full of revenge and anger. What kind of an unforgiving person had she met in her life? If she knew he would be her lecturer she would've never made the mistake of talking back at him.

"Miss, kindly walk out of my class or else, I'll walk out myself." He assured, and Aisha found herself clearing her tears as she slowly walked towards the door. She knew he suggested he went out to show her how bad he wanted her out of his class. She wished she had never overslept.

She sat on the staircases and hugged her knees to her chest, as she cried bitterly. Not that because she knew the reason behind her tears. Yes of course what Jaafar did to her back in the class was one of them, but she knew it was more than that. She can call this feeling as loneliness, or boredom or whatever it is the right word to describe her state of melancholy. All her life, she had never had a friend, not even an acquaintance. She believed she was afraid of people because all Mommy did was made sure she inflicted the fear of people in her mind. How untrustworthy people are, and they can easily betray you.

She was afraid of betrayal. She had never felt any pain inflicted in her by any human, Jaafar was the first. All her life, the kind of pain she knew had always come from Mommy, and it was always about three things. One, the first day she asked Mommy about who her father was, and all Mommy could do was cried bitterly as she told her he died a year after she was born. The second was when Mommy's staying out late began getting worse that she slept in the living someday waiting for her to come back. Ever since she confronted her with the question of what kind of business she did? Mommy had made it her priority to always come back home as early as she could. And that was always 11:30 pm. The highest was at noon. And the third was the one she had never got the chance to ask Mommy about, her family.

Aisha believed that everyone in this world must have a family. They shouldn't necessarily be extended or in a large amount of number. But she knew one must have a family. And all her life, she had never seen Mommy with someone she called her and said: "Humaira, this is my family." He's my brother, sister, uncle, aunt, or even a cousin. Mommy hated whatever linked her with families.

One day she asked her, "Mommy, why do you call me Humaira but fill all my school forms with Aisha? Everyone knows me as Aisha, and only you are allowed to call me Humaira, why?"

Mommy smiled and brought Aisha to her chest as she fondled her head. "Because we're family, Humaira. And families are known to have a name for themselves. Don't ever let anyone call you Humaira, I'm the only one that can call you that." Aisha wanted to ask her if she had any family in the past but she couldn't. Because the kind of tears Mommy shed the day she asked her about her Father were immeasurable and she couldn't risk seeing those kinds of tears ever again.

Apart from her name, Aisha Umar Faruk, Mommy had never disclosed anything of her father to her. And the day she cried to her that she wanted to see how her father looked like, Mommy said they had a fire outbreak when she was young, and that was where all his belongings got burnt. She didn't have anything of him to show her but his name.

She didn't know she had spent a lot of time sitting there on the stairs until she heard the chaos coming from her coursemates as they began trooping out of the hall. She immediately stood up and gave way for them. She was standing there, unable to think of what to do when she felt someone tapped her shoulder. She turned and came in contact with a lady that was smiling at her.

"Hi," she said and waved. "Hello. My name is Safiyya. What of you?" Safiyya smiled at Aisha and extended her hand for a shake. Which Aisha gladly took.

"My name is Aisha Umar Faruk."