ENSHROUDED

27

She wished she were in a dream, all this happened as fast as it shouldn't. Yesterday night they went home and bid Mama goodbye, even though Aisha wanted to cry and beg Mama so he will let her stay, she couldn't. Mama seemed so happy seeing them together and Abba acted up all a lovely husband towards her. That was how they left Mama while Aisha's heart was in turmoil. For the two days she had spent with him as her husband, she knew of nothing rather than pain and tears.

And today, as she sat down on the passenger's seat and waited for him to lock the house, she felt tears pooling the brink of her eyes. This wasn't the life she imagined for herself. She knew she had wanted a changed of the environment over the past few months, but she was in Katsina and that sufficed. Even if she wanted a change of environment, she wouldn't want it to be with Abba. After all, she wanted nothing but to hide from the world. Be invisible with no trace of her.

Abba entered the car and stole a glance at her glum face, internally he hissed. She's making it look as if he was a serial killer and she got wrapped up in his trap. "Will you put on your seatbelt or you're waiting for me to do that for you?" He asked, and Aisha cringed at his voice.

You can say that nicely, Abba. She wanted to say, but she gulped down a lump in her throat and put on the seat belt. Over the two days stay with him, what she had been grateful for was; he had never tried to touch her. Not even her hands and that was fine. She felt more at ease.

He drove out of the compound and there came the silence. With every minute spent together with him, Aisha wanted to disappear from the world. He came along with an aura that shook her soul with fear and terror, and when he spoke, she felt his word as though a fire splattered on her body. She took her journal from her bag and began writing, not minding the look he flashed her.

I wish I can hide away from this world

Be invisible and non-existent like a speck of dust

I'm afraid of all that surrounds me

The soft steps of people walking towards me freak me out

Like an ant fears for his death when being walked upon by man

I know I'm a coward, but I was turned into one

Broken, crumbled, and shattered into shreds

To me, everyone is after me to hurt me

Ans sadly, whoever I let in keeps proving my instincts right

Aisha U. Faruk

"You wish you can hide from this world? Don't even try doing something stupid when I'm not home, Aisha." He glared at her and that's when she remembered who she was with and he might've seen what she wrote.

She quickly put back in her journal and not spared him a glance, while fiddling with her fingers. This would be the most painful journey she would ever have. She knew. And the moment he shouted, "Won't you answer me? Aisha, I can't put up with this habit of your's, how can I be talking to you and you'll stay mum?"

She flung, but her anger had risen to the point she couldn't hold it anymore. She looked at him and for a moment their eyes met. "Do you ever think that you can say whatever you want in a polite way? You can't be harsh on me while you're the one that said you love me and you have me married to you. Stop it, I'm human too. As much you don't want me tampering with your feelings, I don't want you to tamper with mine." Even though she had tears rolling down her cheeks, her words rolled out with so much aplomb. She flashed him a look that spoke her disgust and hatred towards him.

Awestricken, Abba looked at her and his face scowled even more. He slowed down the speed and stared at how she palmed her face and cried hard. Finding a decent place at the roadside, Abba parked and looked at her. He handed her a bottle of water, "Go and wash your face, we need to talk, if this is what you're crying for."