metulji - jan peteh

'Lokvanj'

I had seen Jan roll his eyes before, but never this hard. Turning back to me slowly, he placed his head in his hands, like he would be able to just block the band out of his mind if he tried hard enough. I observed him for a few seconds, waiting to see if he would make a sarcastic remark or at least sigh, but nothing came from him.

The mimosas arrived shortly after the group walked into the restaurant, and of course I had to accept them myself, due to Jan's unmoving state. I nodded at the waitress with a smile, almost feeling apologetic to her for having to deal with my socially-awkward self. 'Thank you.' I credited her, to which she replied, 'You're welcome.', before walking back off to the kitchen to cater to other customers.

'Jan.' I gently shook his arm, hoping that he'd show signs of life. He lifted his head almost immediately with a very tired look on his face. I could tell he was sick of the lack of privacy - being stuck in an apartment with 4 other people 24/7 must be tough by itself, nevermind when they followed you out on dates.

The same waitress came out to greet them, sitting them down on a table on a raised platform diagonal from us. They hadn't yet seen that we were here, so for now we could live in the comfort that we weren't being watched.

'Jan, they're your friends. Does it really matter that much?' I asked, and received an irritated glance back. Not at me, of course, but it still felt slightly personal, especially to an overthinker.

'They are everywhere. I can't escape them, lokvanj.'

He'd started calling me that yesterday night, and as we'd gotten more drunk, it had just stuck. 'Water Lily' in Slovenian. It was pretty, and more importantly, it was ours.

'We can go, if you'd like.' I suggested, just wanting to make him happy. If he felt tense, I didn't want him to; if we would have a better time if we left, then we would leave.

'No.' he responded firmly, but I could see from the annoyance in his eyes that he would prefer if we did. 'This is ours, not theirs.'

Clinking our mimosa glasses with a quick 'cheers', the morning began.

'So, when's the next band shoot?' I asked. Shit. Probably not the best thing to ask him while he was in this sort of mood. Nonetheless, he still answered.

'Tonight.'

'Tonight?' I repeated, my face falling a little. After having to give in to his offer to take me out this morning, I had decided that it would be thoughtful to pick somewhere to take him to tonight. That plan went to shit as quickly as I thought of it.

'Early evening. We'll probably go out to drink after, if we're not too tired.'

'We could go for dinner?' I asked hopefully, seeing a possibility of my idea working out.

'We'll probably have to eat on set. I'm sorry, Lilia. I want to spend so much time with you, but the schedule is tight. I promise,' he reached out his hand to grasp the one I'd just held my mimosa in, 'that I will make it up to you. There are no more shoots after this one, nothing. We will be finished.' he smiled, encouraging me to do the same.

'And you will be at the centre of all of my thoughts.'

The centre of all of his thoughts? Flattering. I could have passed out then and there.

Interrupting our perfect moment, our waitress came to take our orders, which we told her with haste. Jan was not embarrassed of me - he kept his hand stroking the rings on my fingers whilst he read out what he wanted from the menu. I had to put a hand over my face to cover up the heat that was forming in my cheeks, turning to the side to hide my expression.

'Lilia.' he said, and I quickly snapped my neck back into position to face him. 'You have so quickly become my favourite person. You should know that.' he confessed, as he teased my ring finger. A sign? Surely not.

'I seriously wonder where this would've gone if you had been the one covered in piña colada.' I laughed, recounting his severely unimpressed face, despite being completely untouched by the spilled drink the first time we encountered each other. 'You did not look happy.'

'And then I saw who I was dealing with.' I could see his familiar smirk creep onto his face, reaching the corners of his mouth quickly, like he too was thinking back to that night. 'Lilia, I saw you, and all I wanted to do was speak to you.'

'And there was me thinking you were an introvert.'

'You bring out something in me.' he responded. He no longer met my eyes, rather settled his gaze on my lips, his face softening.

'And if you hadn't helped me that night?' I questioned.

'Then I'd be missing out.'

It was at that moment that I started contemplating if the length of the table was really enough to keep us away from each other. I was so drawn to him that even had there been an ocean between us, I would still be unable to stay away. We both reached for the stand containing the menu at the same time, attempting to move it out of the way, but the moment our hands touched the entire planet faded, that spark connecting us once again. He did not care that his bandmates were behind us; I did not care about the waitress imminently bringing us our plates. Me and him, nothing else remained, as his magnetism drew me closer, until a long-awaited feeling united us. His lips were soft, gentle, guiding. It was short, yet so real. Genuine.

Mine.

As we pulled away, I felt the heat inside me increase, longing for more but knowing I couldn't. Not here, in public.

Our food came soon after, two stacks of pancakes. Despite them being almost the same, I had decided to take the blueberries from mine - I didn't like them - and asked if they could give Jan double. He looked thrilled when the plates arrived - he hadn't exactly been paying too much attention when we'd ordered, given the circumstances. Obviously struggling to carry them, the waitress set them down on the table pretty loudly, alerting attention from the majority of the restaurant.

Including Joker Out.

Bojan was the first to turn his head towards us, followed by Jure. Nace and Kris were sat opposite them; they didn't have to avert their gaze much to see us, only move their eyes slightly to the left. The waitress apologised and quickly shuffled away, yet now we'd been discovered, it was only a matter of time until we were completely interrupted.

I kept my eyes on Bojan, who rotated back to his own table, whispering a joke to the others, who all laughed in response. It was then that I gave up - letting Jan continue the stand-off between our two tables. Yet still, out of the corner of my eye, I could make out Jure making kissing faces towards Jan.

I could tell someone was about to pull out the middle finger.

'Just going to go to the toilet.' I said, incredibly rushed, hoping to give them some time to sort their issues out. Without giving Jan a chance to reply, I left the table and ran down the stairs.

•~•~•~•~•~•

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