metulji - jan peteh

Chef

Shortly after concluding my conversation with Sanjay - which had contained a lot of explanation and a fair amount of couple photos - my head began to throb unbearably. I decided to avoid the issue at first, allowing the chat I was having with Jan to distract me for as long as possible, but soon, it became too painful for me to ignore. Trying to will the ache away, I took a break from my sentence and began to stare at the door.

'Lilia?' he asked after a few seconds, sensing that something was wrong. He turned around to observe where I was looking, and, upon realising that the door itself wasn't the problem, his face fell. 'Your head?' With that, he moved quickly to grab the bag of peas back from the bedside table, yet it was now warm enough to condense an entire pool onto his hands - hence, it wouldn't do its job as an ice pack anymore.

'It'll be fine. It's nothing.' I reassured him, stroking his back lightly in the hope that he would turn around again to face me. 'I've already had the worst of it.'

'I knew I shouldn't have got your phone.' he huffed, his brow furrowing in a slight rage at himself.

'It won't have been the phone, Jan.' I fought back, despite knowing that he was probably right.

'Is it too bright in here? Should I turn the light down?' he asked hurriedly, standing up to walk over to the light switch. It was clear that he was determined to respond to the problem effectively while trying not to cause an argument.

'I think I should go to sleep.' I replied helpfully, now realising that my eyes were trying to shut themselves and that my body had already relaxed, ready for rest. 'Stay with me?' I requested quickly, hoping that he would give in.

Without words, he switched the light off and came to join me back on the bed. My bedside lamp illuminated the room with a soft, yellow haze, which rested on Jan's face like a melting sunset, bringing out the deep, coffee-brown that formed his eyes. I must have fixated on him for far too long; he slowly leaned in towards me, using his index finger to tilt my head up slightly, avoiding moving it too much out of fear that he would hurt me. Rather than pulling in closer, I allowed him to edge nearer towards me, lingering just in front of my face as he wrapped his fingers into my hair, supporting the back of my neck carefully. His breath, hot on my face, stopped and started at irregular intervals, nervous, for some reason. Like he was about to tell me something.

Yet, instead, he just remained there, eyes fixated on mine, beginning to inhale in a constant rhythm, before closing the gap between us with his gentle lips. To me, he was like a drug; his touch was addictive, I yearned for more. Letting him deepen the kiss, I forgot the pain - not feeling the urge to hurt anymore, since he was by my side. His hand rippled up and down my body, curving around my hips, before coming to sit lightly on my waist; using his thumb to caress my rising and falling chest, which moved rapidly, motivated by the sensations of him on me.

After a few seconds, we parted, and almost immediately, I felt a sharp stabbing in the back of my skull. However much I wanted to stay here, let Jan make out with me all through the night, I knew that it was time to sleep before my eyelids caved in on themselves.

'I'm sorry.' I apologised.

'Metulj, you need to stop saying that so often. Try something else.' he offered, lifting the sheet on the bed up so that I could nestle in. Deciding to ignore him, I just remained silent as I hid under the cover.

'Lilia.' Using my full name made it much more serious; I snapped my head back to face him. 'You have nothing to be sorry for. You're not well. I want you better, not trying to compensate for being ill.' He raised his eyebrows, knowing that I was officially rendered speechless, with nothing left to shoot back at him.