Nobody knows that we're together. Most days I romanticize it. Forbidden love. Other days I despise it.
We're at an event tonight to celebrate not only Timothees Oscar nomination but also the success of my most recent film.
Me and Timmy started dating a year ago when I accidentally spilled my champagne all over is Dolcè and Gabona red carpet outfit at the Oscars after party. Immediately the two of us hit it off and before either of knew it it had become a thing.
We both instantly agreed to keep it quiet, only telling our closest friends and family, and it's been working amazingly. We're happy and the fans and paparazzi don't suspect a thing. Neither of us are present on the others instagram and we don't follow each other, but recently speculation has arisen.
I was seen leaving his apartment last month after dinner and the internet hasn't given us a break. Because of this we have decided that it would be best if we didn't communicate in public at all. We used to speak as though we were friends when in a group setting, however now it is best if we ignore each others existence entirely.
This plan we set in place was working well, we were slowly drifting off of the radar of fans and me and Timmy are happy. That was until tonight.
" Florence I'm telling you I feel really sick" I say holding my stomach with one hand. We had just been enjoying the party when I all of a sudden felt my temperature rise and my head get hot.
" Do you want to find a place to sit?" She asks placing a hand on my back. The room we are in is packed full and the smell of alcohol is only making my headache worse. My dress is too tight and I'm dying to get this makeup off of my face.
" No I'll be okay" I lie. I knew that I was starting to feel crappy before I left for this stupid event tonight but I refused to miss it.
" Do you want me to find Timothèe?" She whispers gently in my ear. Florence Pugh is one of the few people who know, seeing as she's one of our closest friends. I shake my head. As much as I want him here I know it isn't a good idea. We've worked so hard to distance ourselves from the media that seeing us together at a party would only take us back to where we were last month.
" Maybe we could step outside for a minute though?" I ask. The smell of wine and the loud music suddenly overwhelming me. I haven't felt this ill in years. I know why. I haven't been taking proper care of myself. Between the production of this movie and the stress of being in the public eye I haven't been taking anytime for myself.
" Of course" Florence replies leading me to the back door. The minute we step outside we are flooded by cameras and paparazzi. Their lights are flashing so bright the night sky isn't even visible. I don't want them taking pictures of me at my worst so I quickly turn around and head back inside. I exhale slowly.
" You look pale Meghan. I think you should go home. Do you have a ride?" I ignore her question about who's driving me home because I don't know and I don't want her to feel the need to drive me herself. So I just shrug.
" Ugh you look like awful. I'm driving you home now. Let's go" She says not waiting for my reply before begging to weave her way through the crowd.
There are hundreds of people around and Florence finds her way ti the front door long before me. As I attempt to keep up with her a face catches my eye.
Timothèe.
He's looking at me, his face full of concern. Only now do I realize I might be crying a little. I watch as he takes in my tears and ghostly appearance. He makes a move to step towards me but I shake my head at him subtly. He nods but gives me a small smile before disappearing into the crowd.
