Her Sanity

Chapter 40

Grace's pov:

At the end of it I was shaking badly. I don't know what's happening I'm trying but not able to control myself. Joshua left my hands and shook my shoulders "Hey hey hey Grace what's happening?" he asked in concern.

But I'm not able to reply anything. It's seeming like I can't breathe and suffocating in this room. My breathing turned more heavy. Joshua was saying something but now I'm not getting it what is he saying.

"Hey Grace listen calm down concentrate on my voice." he said gazing in my eyes but panicking himself.

"Are you listening to me? I think you are having panick attack." he said holding my face in his palms cradling my cheeks.

"Hey hey listen to me d-don't panick think about something which comforts you, give you calmness." he said stammering.

"S-something which sooths you, keeps you sane think about it Grace. Please baby think about it." he said his eyes glistening.

I nodded about my head vigorously trying to think something but my mind was totally blank. Thing which keeps me sane? Calms me give me comforts? What's it? I closed my eyes trying to remember something.

Suddenly Joshua's face came infront of me, how he cares for me, he concerns for me, tell me what's wrong and right, his presence calms me, he comforts me when I need it, he-he is the one who keeps me sane.

I opened my eyes and stuttered out "Y-you it's you who keeps me sane."

He froze for few seconds but when he came to his senses he stammered "C-come here." he said and clasped his arms around me embracing me I also encircled my arms around his stomach and kept my head on his chest. His head of my shoulder. "Breathe with me." he cooed in my ear.

I concentrated on his breathing rhythm and started breathing in and out with him. After few minutes my breathing got even and came in control. I started feeling better but didn't detached from him. I stayed in his embrace not wanting to leave him.

A sudden wave of peace and calmess hit me which I never felt before in so many years until now.

"You scared the shit out of me". Joshua said sighing near my ear.

"Were you scared?" I asked surprisingly.

"Of course I was scared after seeing you like that." he said worry lacing in his voice.

"Why?" I asked still listening to his breathing.

"Because I'm scared of loosing you." he said tightening his hold around me.

"But why?" I again asked a question.

"Isn't it obvious that I love you." he said coolly.

I froze.

Love me?

As in love me?

Really?

I snapped my head at him. "What did you just said?" I asked him again not believing on my ears.

"I said I love you Grace." he again said like it is not a big deal.

"You can't, you're lying." I spat not believing him.

"Why would I lie?" he asked me confused.

"Because you are saying this just because you sympathize me." I told him what's going on in my mind.

"What? No! How can you say that? I loved you from a long time even before you told me your story." he said disagreeing with me.

"And how would I believe that?" I asked seriously.

"Remember when I gave you a red rose and told you I want to make you happy, then I was telling you indirectly that I love you and want to be with you." he said in one go.

"Are you serious?" I asked taking my head out of his chest and gazed in his eyes. The only thing saw was sincerity.

"Am I looking like that I'm joking with you?" he asked raising his brow.

"I don't know." I shrugged and put my head again on his chest.

I felt him smiling. He again encircled his arms around me. "There is no need to rush things bellisima you can tell me your answer when you are ready." he said putting his head on my shoulder and caressing my back.

"Hmm." I hummed in his embrace. "What's the meaning of bellisima?" I asked again listening this word for me from his mouth.

"Not anything to be worry about." he said chuckling.

"But why you don't tell me it's meaning?" I again asked getting curious.

"I'll tell you when the right time will come." he said near my ear. I nodded my head.

"Where did they boys went, your bullies? And that friend of yours?" he asked me worriedly.

"After that incident I changed my school and took admission in Candice's school. Candice lived in my neighbour when we were kids. But when her parents started having fights and issues between them. They send Candice to live with her aunt and Lucas to live with her grandmother. But Candice still stayed friends with me." I explained him.

"Are Candice and Lucas are siblings?" he asked me surprisingly.

"Yeah when Lucas's father Mr. Scott died in an car accident. Lucas's mother married another man Mr. Salvadore and gave birth to Candice. So basically they both are step siblings. But Lucas still didn't changed his last name because of his love towards his father." I explained him very clearly. He nodded at me thinking something in his mind.

"You went through a lot and still you are so strong. If there would be anyone instead of you they would have gave up on their everything." he said caressing my back and he kissed my cheek.

I froze. It feels like the time stopped. My mind went numb not knowing what to do? What to think? I was laying in his embrace frozen. When I came to my senses I snapped my head at him. He smiled at me softly.

"Do you want to say something?" he asked teasingly.

"N-no." I stuttered out suddenly feeling my cheeks getting warm.

"Grace your face is red like a tomato." he said laughing out.

I punched him in his chest and spat "Don't laugh."

He again laughed out aloud and said "You are so cute."

"Shut up Josh." I spat at him.

"Make me." he said smirking at me.

Ugh!

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