you asked me what's wrong. i smiled and shook my head. "nothing," was my reply. but you looked like you didn't believe me because you didn't. you kept staring at me until i asked why. you wanted the truth.
so i gave you the truth.
i'm tired of everything. i'm tired of feeling all these emotions and trying to play it off as nothing but mere emotions that struggle to emerge like hell breaking loose. lose? what is there to lose now? what am i about to lose more significant than my own worth of which was gone with the wind? i do not know myself anymore. i do not fear whatever will happen to me. what will happen will eventually do and there's nothing i can do to stop it. i cannot feel any more anger than what i am feeling now. i cannot feel any more hatred than what this hatred in my heart is killing me. hurt is nothing compared to this agonizing numbness in my entire being. i am sick and tired and drained and nothing but a withering memory of something that was once loved. i no longer feel any emotions, i only feel the void eating me alive.
tell me
answer me
is all this numbness
a blessing
or a curse?
what do i answer? i don't really know. even answering is draining. it's like i'm lying to my own self and i'm making a sob story. i think again. there's too much commotion going on in my head that i could not feel a single thing.
ESTÁ A LER
letters after dark | poetry book 3
Poesia[ poetry and prose book 3 ] a collection of poems and proses of thoughts that fill up the void after dark. #7 in poetry #1 in proses #56 in poem #5 poetrycollection started: june 2023 ended: ----- status: on-going
