Back in the Saddle

A Very, Very Bad Idea

Steven

This was a bad idea.

A very, very bad idea.

What am I doing here?

What the actual fuck am I even doing?

I thought that not being on drugs was supposed to make my decision making... well, good?

This isn't a good decision!

What if they're not even here anymore?

Oh, God, there's the door opening.

She looked the same: short, spiky hair, pixie-face. "Al- Alice. Er, uh, Mrs... uh..." I stammered, feeling ridiculous, out of place, and suddenly like I wanted to curl up in a ball on the front porch on which I'm standing, and start sobbing.

Alice gasped, opening her arms instantly. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed once she recovered from her shock. "Steven!"

Alice doesn't know what really happened between Charlie and me. She just thinks that things didn't work out. Which... isn't wrong, I suppose, but...

"It's been forever!" she cooed. "Come in, come in!"

I'm not sure if Charlie's dad will want to see me, but...

I wiped my boots on the welcome mat, not feeling very welcome in my ex-fiancees house, but... Well, nothing's really normal when you're me, is it?

"What brings you here?" Alice asked. "D'you want anything to drink? A snack? I just got back; I picked up Chinese, you can have some if you like chicken fried rice or lo mien..."

I'll never get over how sweet Alice is. Though she and Tom never had any kids, she'd make a wonderful mother. Just as Charlie would.

Wait, what the fuck?

I shook my head, clearing all of my thoughts that I shouldn't be having, and said quietly, "I'm okay, right now, thanks."

"Alright, sweetie," Alice said. Sweetie. God, this is bringing back too many painful memories. Right in there is the living room, where me and the guys sat while Charlie's dad told us to behave ourselves before we went rollerskating. Joe got dope-sick that night, and we had to leave early. Charlie and I shared a vanilla milkshake. I couldn't skate worth a shit. "Are you okay?" Alice asked softly, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I blinked. "Huh? Yeah. Fine," I lied, keeping my eyes closed longer than necessary. I'm not gonna fucking cry in front of my ex-fucking-fiancee's fucking stepmother. "Listen, Alice," I said sadly. "Charlie isn't here, I know. But do you know where I could find her? How I could contact her?"

Alice smiled sadly. "Sure, honey. I can give you a phone number."

"Thanks, Alice," I said with a slight smile.

Before Alice got the phone number, she got out two plates, and served the Chinese food onto them. She set them across from each other at the table.

Onto a piece of paper, she scribbled a number, and then handed it to me. "Have some food, Steven," Alice offered. "You're still too thin."

I grinned. "Really, I'm okay thanks," I tried.

Alice wasn't having it. "Tom's out of town. I ordered extra. Please? I haven't seen you forever! I don't care what happened; you'll always be a part of the family."

I hastily turned my back and wiped my eyes, pissed at myself for being so goddamn emotional. "Yeah, alright," I said slowly.

Sure, it was an odd thing to do, but I used to eat dinner here nearly every night when Charlie wouldn't be at our apartment or at her mom's. It felt natural, even after all this time.