my gangster fantasies.

chapter ten: hurt and pain

THE NEXT MORNING

I wake up to a sight that warms my heart, Aviwe. He is actually staring.

Thando: you know it's rude to stare, right?
Aviwe: not if you're staring at the love of your life. let's get ready for breakfast, we've got a long ride home.
Thando: okay.

We both shower and get ready before packing. I'm wearing black oversized sweats with a black hoodie and white sneakers. He is wearing blue ripped jeans and a white oversized hoodie with white sneakers. He closes our suitcases and takes them to the car before coming back upstairs. We walk downstairs for breakfast, holding hands.

After breakfast, we go to the car and he drives off.

After hours and hours of driving, im woken up by Aviwe giving me a peck on the cheek.

Aviwe: vuka baby. (Wake up...)
Thando: okay.

I get up and we go into the house.

Aviwe: please take a seat.

He says as we walk into the living room. He sits next to me and holds my hands and looks deep into my eyes.

Aviwe: I love you, a lot...
Thando: but?
Aviwe: I can't come between you and your parents, maybe you should go back home. I will apologise to your parents and then you can go back home.

He looks down after saying that and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Thando: no.
Aviwe: no?
Thando: no! I am not leaving you, viwe. I am definitely not leaving you because my parents choose to not prioritise my happiness.
Aviwe: baby...
Thando: we can run away, we can elope. we can go to Singapore and start over, get married, have kids and live our lives the way we planned to.

At this point, the tears are just coming down like a fountain.

Aviwe: we can't do that.
Thaneo: why?
Aviwe: thando...
Thando: no, viwe. I wanna be with you, I have always wanted to be with you. allow me to love you, let me be your wife, the mother of your children. what about this? this ring that you gave me, is it just that or do you really love me?
Aviwe: I do, I love you...
Thando: then let's run away!
Aviwe: thando...
Thando: it's fine!
Aviwe: baby, that's not fair.
Thando: just take me home.

I say pulling my hands out of his in anger. He gets up and does as told and we head to the car and drive to my parents house.

We get there and I take my suitcase out of his car and wipe my tears.

Aviwe: baby?

He says running towards me. He grabs my arm and I face him.

Thando: what?! what do you want? you have already made you're decision so what do you want from me?! huh?!
Aviwe: please don't shout...
Thando: don't tell me what to do!

I say pointing at him.

Aviwe: thando, don't do that.

In that moment, my parents come out, clearly enjoying what's going on.

Aviwe: baby, im not supposed...
Thando: you're not supposed to what?! I will tell you what you were supposed to do, you were supposed to love me! you promised that you would love me no matter what! look at me now, engaged and being dropped. why propose to me if you're not going to marry me?! huh?! what's the point? NGIKHULUMA NAWE MARN! ( I'm talking to you, man!)

He looks at me, speechless.

Thando: leave!
Aviwe: baby...
Thando: leave!
Dad: you heard her.

He walks towards me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

Aviwe: I'm so sorry.

I look away and he gets into his car and drives off. I watch my man leave but break down.

My mom walks towards me and touches my shoulder.

Thando: don't touch me! this is all your fault! we were happy without you being involved in our relationship!
Dad: you can't talk to your mother like that?
Thando: who said i was talking to her alone? I hate you, both of you! why can't you just approve of our relationship? you used to adore him!
Mom: that was before we found out you are interested in each other.
Thando: oh wow, im done with you, both of you.

I walk up to my room, lock the door and drop to the floor. I head over to my ensuite and slap the mirror, which breaks and I cut my hand which bleeds onto my sneakers and my clothes.

I then fall to the floor where I just scream and let it all out.